Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Hell's Bells

I've had a bit of a headache all day. Not liking that so much. :( Anyway I'm all settled into my new digs. Lilly the daschund is so terrible sweet. Last night I sat on the couch in the living room watching CSI & knitting & Lilly just rested in my lap as I kept draping yarn over her head.

There is the nicest park near the house. Really cool! 2 softball fields & a really nice baseball field. Plus an off leash area for the pooches, community garden & playground. So excited to spend time there. Seeing more of the neighborhood I realized that's it's pretty nice & normal. A few more pit bulls than usual (which is so out of fashion) but over all just regular peeps with regular homes doing regular things.

So in 2 days my 6 month self imposed sponsor suggested celibacy kick is over. Not totally sure how I'm feeling. One part of me feels like there is so much inner work I need to do alone. And another part is... ahem...hot to trot. And ready to have some kind of caring experience with another. All my sexual feelings have been coming back & it's a celebration & a true concern. Many choices in the past in concern to dating/relationships were been based on self gratification in various ways. This is no longer okay. My heart is still recovering from the last big break up. So glad C & I are no longer. And there is still some kind of love. Not in the I wanna be with her way. More just missing the familiarity we had. It saddens me even now as I write this. Harley Davidson's keep haunting me. But it's getting better.

Reading the Da Vinci code. It's poorly written. There's no style to it & the characters are totally void of personality. But it's kinda like a history lesson & Catholic thriller & really plot driven. It's tiring to read because it's non stop twists & turns but is a page turner nonetheless.

This Thursday City Hall is having it's first Pride art exhibit. I'm excited to see all the art. And it means masturbation month is coming (ha ha) to an end & Pride month is almost here! Yay yay yay! My favorite!

Peace out y'all!
~F

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