Monday, December 31, 2007

Happy Hews Years from QWOC!

I think this e-card sums up well how I'm feeling about what I'd like to be doing tonight. My sweetie & I know we're going to dinner at the same place we went last year as a kind of new tradition. Then a movie & possibly going out for a bit. If I had my druthers though I'd read through the night after dinner and that would be that.

Speaking of reading I just finished Written in Bone by Simon Beckett and it was a very suspensful novel. If you like mysteries I really reccommend it! Now I get to start on one of the books given to me for x-mas. I got 3 in all including the one I'm starting today I Am Legend by Richard Mattheson.

In other news I was thinking of doing a recap of 2007 but decided against it because it would pretty much be different forms of this statement:
I'm in love & have finally found the woman of me dreams.

So there's no point in grossing anyone out even further.
There's not a whole lot more I have to say about '07. It was an amazing year & I'm excited for the blessings 2008 will bring. My goal (not resolution) for this year is to simply love. More & more & more.

Peace you all this evening and in '08! Enjoy this great video from a Dave Chappelle episode where Big Boi from Outkast does the best performance.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Grief & Strength. Accepting the Loss of what January 2nd Could have Been

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. -Martin Luther King Jr.

For in the end, freedom is a personal and lonely battle; and one faces down fears of today so that those of tomorrow might be engaged. -Alice Walker

Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person. -Mother Teresa

Do exactly what you would do if you felt most secure. -Meister Eckhart

Let no man pull you low enough to hate him. -Martin Luther King Jr.

I'm not doing so great today. Started the day okay, feeling still numb but less in shock. Then I got to work and had co-workers asking me what happened with domestic partnerships and what we were going to do next. And the reason so many co-workers even know is because due to where I work we have something called a holiday "blackout" time where if a staff member needs a day off before January 8th, the person has to either call out or find another staff member to switch shifts. So I had to make a plea to other staff members to switch that day (January 2nd) for one of my regular days off. I really didn't want most of the workplace to even know my business, but I had to find someone to switch shifts so my sweetheart & I could get up early, get legally partnered, and then celebrate.

So the feeling with co-workers asking me about it was one of embarrassment in a way. Like my personal life was on political display for folks I don't really need involved. And the other feeling is grief & loss. Just plain sadness. Trying to stride on in my normal work day I had to get to the bathroom to break down in tears. I'm sweaty and can't eat. The whole thing is really upsetting.

Always in my life I have overcome. Being a queer woman of color I have no choice or else I succumb to the evil of prejudice that wishes me dead. And I know that this ordeal will pass because things always do, but I just can't seem to shake the utter despair of being less than equal today. I'm just so sick of being a minority right now. I'm sick of folks who don't care & folks who don't have to care. I'm sick of one minority group hating another. I'm sick of folks within their own minority group not giving a shit. Many people care, I know this. My own mom reminded me that allies & good people are working hard for equality right this very moment. But when I go around the town today & see folks smiling & laughing & not even phased I just feel... a temporary hopelessness.

There is anger here too. I'm angry so many of my fellow queers choose to sit with their thumb up their arses then get in the streets & make it known to all we are equal. Yesterday I checked Portland's Indy media & other local web sources & there was nothing. No-thing. And yes there will be vigils but where's the passion. Where's the fire or hope even to demand we be treated, by the government who makes us pay the same taxes, equally.

And for the hate mongers who think that their god is better their everyone else's and can't understand what the point of having queers be equal is, I just want to ... I don't even know. Can it be explained that we are just people? Just regular ol' folks who just want the same protections that they already have. We don't wish to take away even one right from them. Don't they know we just want some peace and nothing special at all. Just the same ability to move through the world without having to watch our backs every 5 seconds.

To the allies who remain silent: please speak up! Speak the words we need to hear. That equality is important to you!
To my l/g/b/t/2s family: Don't be afraid to speak up & take action even if you immediate circle doesn't understand. You will connect with those who get it and your strength will shine so others can stand up too.
To our Queer leaders: Know we cannot just settle for less. That this is the time to fight. That doesn't mean violence or hateful actions but a new creativity that will get into the hearts of those who need to see, hear & feel what is the truth of our situations.
For myself: I'll not give up. I'll not sit & wait. I'll speak up even if my fellow queers don't like it. My place is in this world at this time & that cannot for naught. I won't be run over or run down by prejudice. I will rest when I need to & continue to take action for myself & others to be full citizens of not only Oregon or the United States, but also the world. Get ready people. You haven't seen nothing yet!

Here's a little musical salve from the late Tupac. Peace!

Saturday, December 29, 2007

The Bubble Hath Burst: Domestic Partnership on Hold in Oregon

Photo courtesy of unprofound and edited by me

The news came to me later than it did for others in the blogosphere. I didn't find out until my beloved called me at Noon today to share what our lesbian boss told her. That January 2nd we will not be able to get a legal partnership in Oregon.

Truthfully I'm so shocked I can hardly even speak or think. I knew there was a possibility that there could be a delay but I figured the possibility had the odds of like, getting struck by lightening. Fuk.

What happened was a conservative "christian" group called The Alliance Defense Fund filed a suit against the State of Oregon & Bill Bradbury (our Secretary of State) claiming that some signatures on referendum petitions against domestic partnerships were tossed out unfairly and that the people whose signatures were considered invalid should have been properly notified. In order for there to be a delay to the domestic partnerships going legal on January 2nd the plaintiffs needed to prove that signing a petition is the same as signing a voting ballot and that the law passing would incur irreparable harm and also that the ADF in the end would likely win their case.

Yesterday Judge Michael Mosman presided over the case (also called a preliminary injunction). It was what the Portland Mercury called "a secret weapon" that convinced Mosman to issue a temporary restraining order (TRO) from DP laws going in effect on the 2nd. The weapon was a case in Idaho where it was ruled signing a petition was the same as voting. Therefore Mosman decided that signatures on a petition were fundamental right and by putting a hold on January 2nd's domestic partnership laws he was preventing irreparable harm.

In reaction to how this case has turned out so far there has been a lot of support by others within the Oregon and or Queer community around this disappointment.

Kendall Clawson, the executive director of the Q Center said "Unfortunately, our fight for domestic partnership may not be over, yet I truly believe that those that opposed this amendment have underestimated the strength of our community and the power of love and respect for others that drives us. As the sun comes up and we begin planning our next steps, I have decided that I will not give away another minute of sleep pondering the negative aspects of this situation. Conversely, I will work to acknowledge, appreciate and derive strength from all of the people that tirelessly work to bring us together as a community rather than tear us apart."

Crallspace wrote an open letter to the Alliance Defence Fund and asks "Why take the beacon that many look to for inspiration, hope and goodwill and shine its dark side? With all the problems that face our world today, homosexuals are your scapegoat; you have a heyday on folks that may have been the subject of the verse, "As you have done it to these the least of my brethren, you have done it unto Me." (Matt 25:40) As much as you think Christianity is persecuted and outlawed for obnoxious reasons, how do you think homosexuals feel about your work?"

Multnomah County Commissioner Jeff Cogen noted for us all that "Daily, we are reminded that the quest for equality continues and it is up to us to push forward principles of acceptance, fairness and justice. I hope this issue is resolved soon and we can get to the business of equality - for all."

Jack Bogdanski at Jack Bog's blog made a great point that "...once again, the electoral process in this country is showing itself to be badly, badly deficient. Not only can't we count votes securely and honestly -- we can't even agree on how to check the signatures on the petitions by which we decide what we'll be voting on. Nearly every election -- even every potential election -- turns out to be a lawsuit. It's a disgrace."

For more information on all this go here and here for information from Basic Rights Oregon.

There will be a vigil at the Q Center from 5:30pm to 7pm On January 2nd. The address is 69 SE Taylor Ave at SE Water Ave.
Though personally I'd like to see folks taking this to the streets I know many feel safer in a queer space among other queers & allies. I guess I just don't want it to seem like Oregon LGBTQ2S folks are rolling over and taking this. But I'll be at the vigil all the same, with my beloved.

Stay tuned to Just Out's Blog for updates on this heartbreaking situation.
I wish for all of us who planned on participating in legal domestic partnership on Wednesday a peaceful night & happy, hopeful, loving New Year!

Friday, December 28, 2007

Wal Mart Sucked me In & I'm NOT Happy About it!!!

What follows is an open letter to the creator

Dear Lord or whatever you are-

I did it. I know it was wrong but what was I supposed to do? We got a gift certificate after all and to waste it would have been bad. Only after we shopped at *sigh* I can hardly say it with throwing up a little... Wal Mart we realized we could have given the gift cards away. But alas we didn't. Wood Village was where it happened and I can't believe it was so damn easy to get to. Just a straight shot on Sandy Blvd.!

And would you believe we found a parking spot right by the door? And then we had to face how the heck we were going to spend the $100 in Wal Money. Well we did what we had discussed before we arrived at the mega store and got groceries. I took at my cell phone and pulled up the calculator function on it and we began to count every Wal Cent because we didn't want even one of our pennies going to that place. The whole thing made us feel dirty. Yet the trip was surprisingly delightful.

As always when my sweetheart & I are together we have fun even if we're doing the dishes so we made the best out of being at a location of one of the worlds most exploitative companies. We shopped though aisles that were not crowded and purchased item that were far more inexpensive than at our local grocers. We loaded our cart to the brim for $100 with items like garbage bags, salad dressing, garden burgers and of course organic canola oil. The goal was to stock up on essentials so we wouldn't have to worry about certain items for a while. We did what we had to do and the horrid truth is... we enjoyed it. Aggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!

Even the staff was nice there & we saw all these signs telling us how much Wal Evil Mart has donated to charities. So we tried to let go of our guilt until we got out of the store. I know how bad they are. I've preached the gospel of yucky about them. And until yesterday I personally had never spent a penny in that place (and technically I didn't because it was a gift card damn it!). So please forgive me. I beg you. And I promise it will never happen again (unless we get another gift card & we may give in to temptation then too). Thank you for everything!

Your pal,

P.S. Here's a pic of everything we got. And I know I know. But we just simply forgot to bring our own bags! Sorry!

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

My Heart is Happy

Despite the fact that I look slightly stoned in this pic, I'm happy. My love and I had a great holiday and I just feel so grateful to the powers that be for putting us together.

Today I'm also happy Christmas for '07 is over. Time to get started on other projects. Peace y'all!

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Christmas is for Jews & Lesbians!

I'm working today and it seems were having a ton of lesbians & Jewish folks in the store today. I love it! Tonight my sweetums is making chicken, potatoes & green beans & I will make a chocolate chip cake. Yay!

Anyway I got some lovely gifts last night including a bunch of awesome Aveda products & good books. Got the latest Ray Lamontagne CD too! So for my lovely QWOC readers I have an xxx-mas present. Enjoy! And yes it is moi.

Monday, December 24, 2007


Photo courtesy of Photobucket

Peace y'all!


Sunday, December 23, 2007

PMS + Working Retail + Missing My Family + a Full Moon = My Annual Holiday Freakout!

So after a minor back and fourth discussion over what my partner & I are eating on x-mas day we got into the shower. I'm washing my hair, she's soaping her back. Then somehow I got soap in my right eye. The eye's feeling all sting-y and my partner suggests I let the shower water run upon it. I do but the eye still stings. So after a minute she said "rub your eyes under the water" so I did and it helped. But a funny thing happened soon after.

My eye naturally was watering itself to get the soap out. As this was happening my beloved got out of the shower & I stayed in there rinsing off my soapy boobs when the post soap state of my eye triggered a massive crying jag. Next thing I know I'm totally sad and can't hardly speak. My love is asking what's wrong & I was utterly choked up. All I could do was feel the longing for being with my biological family this year, especially my grandma.

The sobbing only lasted a couple minutes & after I got out of the shower I was feeling emotionally raw but okay. Then I realized I seem to have one of these holiday crying episodes every year. And well, it's just a part of the season for me. So now that that's out of the way I can focus on the best part of x-mas: free shit! I can't wait to open presents!

My mom was so super cool. She gave my sweetie & I a bunch-o-cash towards our wedding. When I called & thanked her she got all sweet & traditional saying "that's what the brides family is supposed to do." Also so far I got some yummy Aveda Blue Oil, for those days (like today) when I need a little tension relief.

Speaking of wedding stuff there will be a big ol' celebration in Portland at the Gerding Theater on January 2nd. Not for us per se, but all wishing to celebrate the new domestic partnership law. If you plan on getting domesticated in Oregon this year, take this survey. Why? Why the eff not!

We plan on doing the legal registering thing the 2nd or third of January. We have decided when this takes place we will be married and a ceremony & party will follow later in the year. More details as all this gets closer. Anyway hope ya'll are staying joy filled and true to yerselves.


Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Amy Winehouse. Old Timey Negro Stereotype or Just a Typical White Hollywood Bad Girl?

I read a post on Stereohyped the other day titled Amy Winehouse: When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong. Oh-mah-gosh I love the title of that & the post is good too. It's in response to a article about how Salon James Hannaham author thinks Amy Winehouse's behavior is akin to stereotypical Black behavior. Huh? But reading the actual Salon article further I can't fully agree with Stereohyped on this one. Nor do I fully agree with every word in the Salon piece either.

Though I'm no fan of Amy Winehouse, I find it odd that because of her singing "style" and the words in her lyrics, she was called in the Salon article a "hip hop potty mouth." Jeez are rappers the only ones who swear?

And though I disagree some with Lauren in her post on Stereohyped about the gist of the article I do agree with her that Mrs. Winehouse embodies more today's white Hollywood bad girl than the "soulful negro" stereotype.

What the article was getting at (I think) is that Amy is trying to get famous and rich by being the white girl whose "Black" in her soul. She's feeding off the white liberal imagination that loves a magical negro or Black & oh-so-soulful muse, to inspire them to heights of human understanding they can't possibly posses due to a skin color & background that has limited the depth of their...well depth.

And we know some guilty feeling white liberals who love nothing more than someone whose actually white but can "represent" like the soulful negro, or any "urban" individual. We've seen this before with the likes of Eminem, Janis Joplin and even Bob Dylan. James Hannaham in his Salon piece I believe was trying to convey that by Winehouse playing into the white but has authentic feelings and experiences like a name-your-minority, she become successful and a hero to those who need her to be a great white hope and to those who would rather be in denial about their own addictions.

Take for instance Mark Morford who wrote an article several moons ago about how wonderful Mrs. Winehouse is for just saying NO to rehab. Because apparently it is better for her to waste away soulfully than lose her street cred and clean up her act. Dear god what would she sing about then and how would she fulfill his idea of "keeping it real." It was in fact that particular post by Morford that has kept me from reading his ramblings any further.

My hope for Amy is that she cleans up her act in whatever way works best for her (this doesn't necessarily mean rehab, I never went). Then she needs to explore her heart, looking for the ways she's used certain ideas about certain races to benefit her career. Next I'd have her work with a voice coach to explore her talent and let her really keep it real, not because of her problems and imagined "street cred" but because of her strengths and willingness to be herself.

My hope for us all is the same as my hope for Mrs. Winehouse: To love, be loved and in the words of Joss Stone, have a right to be wrong.


Monday, December 17, 2007

2 Great Podcasts

Recently I've found 2 awesome podcasts I'd like to link y'all to. The first one is called The Positive Hip Hop Podcast. There have been about 8 episodes so far and each one has been pretty good. Topics include social & political change via hip hop, spirituality & racism. In less than an hour each episode offers some of the best hip hop from true artists, fresh perspectives and music you may not have ever heard before. If you're a big fan of truly good hip hop & all encompasses, for the love of god, check out this great podcast.

Also another terrific podcast is local Just Out journalist Julie Sabatier with her podcast on revolutionary Do-It-yerself projects called Destination DIY. I learned in the last episode about at home funerals. Who knew you could bring a loved one home after death to cleanse them & even bury them in your homemade casket! Episode 21 was about kids creating their own structure for their education. Who knew one could even do that? Anyway the show is well done & provocative in modern quirky way. Hey you, yes you, go check it out.

Peace ya'll!

Sunday, December 16, 2007

A Year!

Today marks one year since my beloved & I hung out together for the first time. We didn't know then that a mere 5 months later we'd be engaged. We didn't know we'd fall so in love that we knew we wanted to not only spend the rest of our lives together on this earth, but in the great beyond as well.

I was just coming off the heels of one relationship & very much not looking to start anything with anyone. Though I was saddened by the break up & remained hopeful & grateful for the opportunity to learn yet more about myself in that coupling. In fact the person I had been seeing was not so sure about breaking up & I felt confused too as these things are hard. But I knew in my heart it was over.

What was most wild was that while I was with this former lover, the last couple months of our relationship, my coworker and pal was beginning to distract me terribly, but not in any kind of sexual or romantic way. We just had such a great time talking with each other every Sunday at work that at times I had to stay late to correct mistakes I had made from our intriguing conversations. I began to wonder why, week after week I was having such a hard time staying on task at work when she was around. And being the good addict I can be, I decided to ignore it, in effect a state of denial, because after I had a girlfriend and I don't cheat (anymore).

My sweetheart and I went to Crush and got approached by some dude that was the brother of the DJ. Finally we made our way to Holocene a smoke free club in town for a night called Double Down, a lesbian themed event. Despite the fact that my sweetie & I can't stand typical lesbian bars and dance nights we decided to take a chance on it. We didn't dance much because the DJ wasn't very good. But I had requested "It Takes Two" by Rob Base & we did get down for a few moments. Later another song came on that she really likes & so she danced on her own as I tried not to stare at her.

There was no helping watching her on the dance floor. The way her body moved reminded my of many things and I found myself utterly enchanted. It was the first time I really looked at her as a sexual being. It was the first time I realized I could very much make love to this woman. And I found myself overwhelmed & temporarily at a loss for words or thought.

More than that moment of attraction was the ease in which are relating took place. Though we both were nervous we found a way to talk to one another and share things we hadn't shared with others before. We were more than getting along. We were connecting.

And the rest is history as they say. Soon to follow were slow kisses, hungry sex, talking for hours on the phone, meeting her mom, getting engaged, moving in together and so much real, spirit filled love. So much laughter and so much fun we have! I can't thank the powers that be enough for bringing this amazing creature into my life. How very good it is to at long last have, as Mary J. Blige says real love. Here now are some words we exchanged today. And a couple of goofy pics. Peace!

Happy 16th! This is the day that we first hung out together and look where it lead us. I am happy that we are taking this path together and I look forward to our future as a couple! You are my other half and I am so glad that I found you. I love you Frances! Your Wolfie

My best friend & best lover-
I'm amazed by our connection. The last year means more than I can say. So glad we took a chance on each other a year ago. To our future together and the grace of the universe to guide us along the way.
Your Little Bear

Friday, December 14, 2007

Exploring my Own Transphobia

After reading about a prisoner in the Oregon prison system that recently castrated herself by using her fingernails to severe her own testicles, and the awful comments I've seen related to the story I felt it important to explore my own transphobia in a post. So here we go....

The truth is that in my past I've been transphobic. I don't admit this joyfully. Dislike comes naturally within myself when I have any prejudice towards any one person or group. It's a yucky thing made worse by the very prejudice I've experienced by others. So I'm not proud of my past transphobia. But I also want to say that whenever a prejudice is realized, I look at it & explore it. Trying to find a way to love myself & accept my human fallibility, while improving my serenity & being of service to other folks.

In the mid 90's it seemed like I was meeting more and more female to male transitioning people. Though I had known many men who dressed in drag in the late 80's and then men who transitioned to women in the early 90's, FTM's we're new to my consciousness and blew up on my "I don't know about this" radar. When I say I was transphobic, I was actually particularly troubled by women transitioning to men.

The root of this dislike towards FTM's specifically was a false (however real it seemed at the time) sense of betrayal. That these folks no longer wanted to be women meant they wanted male privilege and were therefore anti-woman. That they wanted to join the oppressor instead of fighting with the oppressed. A male knowing deep inside she was female made sense. I rationalized that after all women are amazing and really who wouldn't want to have that connection to life. So one group of transitioning people I honored while the other group I vilified quietly in my head. Never did I make public statements about my prejudice as I knew better than to expose my anger toward anyone.

My anger came from sadness and ego. My sadness at misogyny and the confinement of women's freedom's over the years was understandable, but I had blamed the wrong target. FTM's were not responsible for sexism against women. Sure some FTM's have been sexist. But so have other folks who claimed to love and identify as women. I can't tell you how many sad scenes of violence erupted at a local lesbian bar back in the day, between supposed lovers. Even I have had some less than respectful behavior toward those of my own gender. Anyone can give crap to a woman. That indeed is genderless.

My ego though wanted to have an answer to that which I didn't yet grasp about trans folks. My ego decided that FTM's thought they were better than what womanhood represented. That they were better than me. I justified my ego by thinking that if brown people took pills & had surgery to become white they'd be obviously prejudiced so why should trans person's be any different?

Also is the fact that I'm most attracted to biological women who display what I consider to be masculine qualities. This added to my thinking that these men were wasting their gifts of natural sexiness to become men. Maybe I just wanted everyone I thought was hot to myself.

The journey away from rationalizations and justification came about 6 years ago when I had a coworker who was a transitioning male. He was of course at first subjected to my ridiculous ideas until I got to know him. It was as if a physical barrier to knowing someones heart started to lift. Now don't get me wrong here. I don't think knowing, befriending or even dating someone from a different minority group makes one automatically not prejudiced against that group. But being willing to get to know someone beyond our own silly ideas of them can be a start.

As this coworker became a friend I encountered more trans men and of course found each individual to be just that. Individual. As my mom would say- duh! My friend let me ask questions and like anyone else, did not speak for trans folks as a whole. Just his life and who he is and what we had in common, which was a lot. In fact he became less and less my "trans friend" and just a friend. He, to this day, I believe is one of those angels who walks the earth in human flesh. But that's besides the point.

I had to come to realize that transitioning is different for each person. That the trans experience is as vast in range as the queer experience. That each of us regardless of how our bodies look when were born are on a journey toward ourselves and each other. I had to learn that I needed to change my thinking. And thank goodness it did change. There have been some good people in my life, that have some different and similar experiences that we do & don't share.

I can't explain what motivates each transitioning/transitioned person. Some folks I've known simply felt deep inside they were inside a body that was the wrong gender. One friend took testosterone to simply enhance their already masculine identity but had no plans to ever get any type of surgery. Someone else I knew somehow thought his way into facial and body hair and even a receding hairline. He had not one hormone or alteration to his body by modern science. Yet his desire to be his true self alone made him more himself. A few friends have had chest surgery and not much else. Only one person I know has taken T (testosterone) and had upper and lower surgery. So the variety here is as great as the lovely shades of skin among the peoples of the world.

Today I'm grateful for the opportunity to transcend my own prejudice and have not just more tolerance but love for all of HP's people. Amen to that!
For more on trans issues read this great post by Holly about what being trans means to her.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

I'm Three Three!

Well it's my brifday today. And I forgot to brush my teeth this morning. Celebrated my birth this morning with a small cup of coffee & a vegan donut.

Interesting thoughts went through my head as I got ready for the day this morning. Flashbacks or memories or more accurately thoughts about flashbacks & memories. I thought about what my birthday was like last year. The celebrating up until the actual day was pretty good. Then that day I got told something really uncool about a certain area of my body. I've let go of that resentment for the most part. But it's still kind of a shitty memory.

Also in my mind this morning was my dad. Yes I'm one of those folks who has "daddy issues" however I've worked on those that generally I'm not haunted by them anymore. For the reason I suppose of reflection that anniversaries and birthdays bring, I thought of my dad. How he has missed out on many a birthday of mine. How are birthdays are days apart & that it would have been interesting, had he not had an anger & cocaine problem, to celebrate our days together. But that was not meant to be. And to be honest I'm grateful for a life without him. The idea of a good dad in my life is nice, but my real dad would not have been so nice.

And what a better gift than to know, with the examples from above that, sometimes what may seem bad is the best thing for you. If I had not had that awful comment spoken to me, I may not have gotten together with my partner and soulmate as soon as we did. If it had not been for my father's whack ass-ness I may not have become the strong woman I am. I would not have worked so hard to love myself & others and have compassion combined with good boundaries. So this birthday I'm grateful for gifts in disguise.

In the tradition of last year here is my solar return chart. Peace y'all!

Monday, December 10, 2007


Oh my!

Get your Nutty Buddy here.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

QWOC Comment Policy

Howdy ya'll!

I'd just like to take a moment to share the QWOC policy on comments. Okay so here goes...
  • I moderate comments. Pretty loosely I think, but I still do. If you have further questions or are a new commenter feel free to contact me at franjkm at gmail dot com.
  • Comment length should be no longer than roughly a page of a college term paper. And if the comment is around that kind of length please put in paragraph breaks so readers eyes don't get too strained.
  • Use of language is reasonably loose. You may swear, tell a naughty story that relates to the post or whatever. Just no swearing at the moderator (me) or other commenter's. Respect is important, but that doesn't mean we have to agree on ideas. I like meaningful dialogue and anything that degrades anyone will not be allowed.
  • Links related to the post topic are welcomed!
  • You are free to share the comments posted here. Just please note this blog for where the comment came from.
  • No spam!
  • Please if you have one, leave a link to your blog!

Okay that's it. Thanks for reading!

Thanks to Optiniche for comment policy ideas!

Soft Sheets, Jeans that Fit and a Bracelet that Makes me Seem a Little More Butch. Birthday Gifts Thus Far.

My birthday isn't for 2 more days but I celebrated early due to having to work, like most folks, on the actual day. So I budgeted some presents for myself that I felt we're not only desired but in a way needed.

I knew I needed some new Levi jeans because I've gained a little weight since falling in love and have gone up a size (or two) in the last year. Levi's are the only jeans I wear and to boot I always wait to get them on sale. Luckily for me I found 2 pair not only on sale, but got a free $10 gift card that I can use toward whatever, with the purchase of the pants. The new jeans look great, feel comfortable and as Levi's are known for, make my butt look yummy!

For months I've been craving a new bracelet. I wished for something a bit more chunky yet versatile. I figured that a wrist decoration would be a perfect present to my self for my birthday. Usually I go to Portland's Saturday Market for fun hand crafted stuff. But before I could make the trip I found my bracelet at one of my favorite local stores Za Zen. That place is my new favorite boutique for many reasons. It's first off got stylish, comfortable clothing that is low maintenance and best yet...affordable. Plus the selections of clothing and accessories are unique and fun. So I stooped in Thursday to see what was new there and found a really fun leather bracelet made from an old belt. Since I love recycling and it's chunky and smells good I tried it on. All I can say way from the moment I put it on my wrist it felt like it was meant for me. When I took it off my skin felt as if it were missing something.

And too boot a co-worker yesterday though it looked kinda butch. How fun!

A number of years ago I discovered the joy of high thread count bed sheets. I stayed over at a friends after a surgery and on the guest bed was a set of butter colored, buttery feeling sheets. I asked her about them & she explained they were 600 thread count sheets. She claimed they were old and needed new ones. I thought if sheets could feel that amazing yet needed to be replaced, I had to get some for myself. Soon I had some lovely 300 thread count sheets and was excited for the day I could get even softer ones. Discussing high thread count sheets with another friend about 3-4 years ago I learned that Pima & Egyptian cotton sheets were the best to go with, and in particular the ones made in Italy too.

I had sold my small full size bed when I had a woman's size girlfriend and needed a bigger bed, so I had to get new sheets & could only afford 250 threaders at the time. So for the last few years I've really wanted higher thread count sheets but didn't splurge. So at long last on Friday I got some Egyptian 400 thread count sheets. They feel so good on my skin. My beloved has never had high thread count sheets & feels totally spoiled. And we are though I must admit if I can ever get my hands on 800+ thread count sheets I'll go for it. For now though finding this lovely set for a mere $30 bucks at Ross is cool with me.

Today I received the 2nd of B-Day gifts from others that I really wanted/needed. My sweetie got me a lovely set of cast iron skillets. Something happened to my lovely one a couple years ago when my not-so-smart ex. soaked the pan overnight in water. Needless to say the skillet I so lovingly seasoned myself was no longer of use. So I'm excited to make some iron rich foods for the holidays with those pans.

Also my wonderful pal Zee got me something I really needed. She & my sweetheart went out to dinner Friday night and at the restaurant I opened my brand new Designer Envelope system created by Dave Ramsey. Now it will be a whole lot easier to stick to my budget & track my expenses. This gift was truly one I will utilize & treasure!

Thus far I'm enjoying December. Many gifts I have received and how absolutely grateful I am for them & the wonderful riches I'm blessed with. So with that here's a gift for my readers. Well it's not really a gift but something that's fun that I wish to share. The Real does a bunch of hip-hop comedy sketches & I like this one. It's called Failed Hip-Hop Ideas. And the only child one is hysterical. Enjoy!

Failed Hip-Hop Ideas from jeff on Vimeo.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Brief Break/Hot Sex

I took a brief blogging break for several reasons.
  1. I had a nasty sinus infection that made me too tired to think.
  2. I was on my period & could give a rip.

But I'm back now & should blog every other day or so as usual.

So since I couldn't finish NaBloPoMo I figured my readers deserved a treat. Here it is y'all. A sexy sex tale. And a real one at that!

So my beloved & I had recently gone like, a whole freakin' month without really getting it on. We made out of course & had a couple attempts at coitus that didn't work out due to what was going on with my crotch. We had a few mutual masturbation sessions but no real doin' it.

The reason was that I had something called Bacterial Vaginosis. It's not an STD but one can get it like one sometimes. Which WAS NOT the case with me. I just simply had too much or too few of the right/wrong bacteria and had an unpleasant infection. I knew something with my cooter was not quite right so I made an appointment with my doctor. Which had to later be cancelled. It was rescheduled and then had to for some reason I can't remember reschedule again!

Finally I had my appointment and got diagnosed & was prescribed antibiotics that of course wiped out all the good flora or whatever I needed for a happy vagina & gave me a severe yeast infection. And as the horrible infection faded I then got my period. Then I got sick. Needless to say my sweetheart & I were due for some serious body slappin'!

So last night at long last we had some time alone. My sinuses were under control & nothing funky was in my crotch whatsoever. The funny thing was despite all of our affection & sweetness during my month of hot crotch I felt terribly shy yesterday. And she did too because we had that whole looking at each other smiling, then looking away thing that happened when we first got together.

After flirting and talking with desire behind our eyes she asked me if I'd like to make out. I of course said yes because my mama didn't raise no fool. Candles were lit, lights turned down and dogs were put to bed. I sat on our cream colored couch waiting for her to sit by my side. When she did I felt tingles run through my arms & chest and had the excitement of a first make out session in my quickly beating heart. Our kisses were tender & slow. I made sure to breathe in her air & focus my attention to the feel of her lips upon mine. My whole body felt like a live wire of sensation because when she put her hands upon my back to hold me closer, I felt the energy of those hands into my calves and feet.

After a nice long session of kissing mouths, necks, arms & hands we got frisky and started nibbling at each other and groping with closed eyes for each others breasts.

I realized after a while that I needed to pee and so I smiled into her brightness and went to the bathroom. It was nice at long last to know that I was a-okay for whatever our night may bring us sexually. And I was damn wet too!

We eventually moved to our bedroom and with our open eyes close to each others and our hearts even closer, we finally made love. It was passionate, playful, intimate, yummy, long lasting and soulful.

At one point we held onto each other chest to chest so tight and for so long that I felt emotional. And when she was at last inside me I wanted her to stay there forever. Best was coming together while we told each other we loved one another. It was a lovely night. One of our best yet. And definitely worth the wait!

Peace y'all!