Wow

Every time I think I have to show my ass to my sponsor, she always comes back putting a pair of pretty bloomers on it. Obviously this is not literal. You see last night I had quite a shock that led to a very deep realization: I have a lot of trouble managing my money. No matter how much money I make I always end up broke. And most frustrating is that I don't even have credit card debt. I know myself well enough that credit cards in my hands would be very dangerous. What there is plenty of are medical bills. And for some reason I just can't get ahead. That some reason is I can't manage my money. Year after year, month after month I struggle. And last night my brain finally got it. There is no way I can do this by myself anymore. And last night after tears & a little self pity, the god-shot I needed came. Someone offered to take me to a 12 step meeting for folks with financial issues.

So this morning when I told Liz about my money stuff & how unmanageable it is, she told me she's proud of me. That finances are hard for many and getting to a point of surrender is huge. She said I'm showing how dedicated I am to recovery by being willing to hit yet another bottom. Though my bank account is a mess, my spirit is strong. I'm so grateful for the many blessings this little life of mine has in it.

So in yesterdays post I wrote about my wonderful cat Bebes. But provided one link to show what he looks like. So now without further ado, my son, my love...Bebes.