Lately I'll be hanging out with my girlfriend & she's do damn beautiful & we'll be having such a good time & I'll say to her in my head "I love you." Those three words have been in my head for weeks & get louder & yet I can't say them. Perhaps it's because she has not yet said them either. Perhaps it is also because I've said the words so many times and have not meant them as fully as possible. Not that I didn't love the others. I did but...well shit maybe I didn't love them.
Love has to be more than mere words. It's a verb and my fear is if I tell her those words my actions won't match. I desire my actions to show her my love rather than saying it and not doing much else. And so I show her the depth of my feelings and feel my heart getting even bigger and it's exciting and wild all at the same time. The truth is I love her. And knowing she doesn't read this blog makes it a relief to finally put those feelings out there. She's so amazing I can hardly believe it. And even more wonderful is our connection. It's just so very lovely. So I pray to show myself, her and us my love. To make it more than lip service but practical, funky, enticing action!
Now onto really heartbreaking news. 12 year old Deamonte Driver died this past Sunday as a result of a lack of dental care. Read the story here. This story is pulling at my heart today & it's all I can do to keep from crying. Maryland's Medicade program appears to not do enough for it's states dental needs. Is anyone else just utterly horrified by this? Interesting that all those pro-life extremists seems to not care much about all the babies who are born. Where are they when a indigent child needs health care? Where are they when parents cannot afford to feed their families. I'd never say don't have a baby if your poor, so that's not what I'm trying to get across. I'm saying put your money & heart into helping those who are here and need to thrive, not just barely (and not always at that) survive.
Last bit o' news. Rosie O'Donnell has apologized her her racist ching-chong remarks. Check out the link with all the info. Looks like artist Beau Sia finally got her to see her mistake. Yay! Peace y'all!
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2 comments:
(Girl, you know you look like me!)-
Wanted you to know how sick I, too, was at the horror of Deamonte's death due to infection. I know very well the indignities of seeking good dental care when one's parent does not have the financial, emotional or logistical resources to get a child to the dentist before a small problem ends up ruining, or taking, a life.
Like the sound of your voice; will be back.
kim-
Last Friday I was talking to a couple about Deamonte and the dude was like "well it's sad but it's only one kid." I could only blink back the words I wished to really say. I had to go to a free-clinic
dentist once and the dentist was so mean & terse with me I almost left in tears but a nurse encouraged me to stay. I think folks don't understand that even when folks do get gov't help, the experience of it can still be hard because of, as you said, the indigities of it.
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