Busy Beaver!

That's me. Memorial day (observed) was a day to remember (har har). After the clouds burned off it was a beautiful & bright day in the City of Roses. My beloved & I were housesitting & had a lovely secluded backyard to sunbathe in the buff in. Ahh nothing like a warm sun kissed ass! Of course in a secluded backyard one has to engage in lots-o-hanky panky, which we did with great pleasure. Good times!

There's lot's of other stuff going on (all good things!) but I shall digress on spilling the beans today. Let me just say I'm a very happy camper!

Also let me say that I'm looking forward to this summer's Portland Gay Pride celebration! Me thinks this is the year I'll go topless in the dyke march. We'll see! Peace y'all!

12th Erase Racism Carnival is Up & Running

This time it's at Angry Black Woman. Check it out right here!

Also I came across this great handout for whites who think they're anti-racist. Check it out!

Peace!
~F

My Latest Post on TTL/Why I Hate the Term Exotic

This one was about if Rosie O'Donnell is a role model to lesbians. Go here http://tinyurl.com/2hhkoz to read my post. Here are some of my past thoughts on her. Though I'm glad she apologized I still don't think much of her.

This weekend I had a customer at work come up to me and say "you're so exotic looking, what are you." Granted she was smiling & I suppose trying to compliment. But it got me thinking about what the term exotic to the mainstream American mind. I found this great post from the former Mixed Media Watch & thought I'd link it. In addition to that post I wish to mention just how feeking shitty it feels when someone calls me exotic. I'm a mid-western Catholic. I went to an inner city high school, had regular friends & did regular teenage stuff. I loved, hated, gossiped & made-out. My childhood though dramatic in many a moment was ordinary in it's dysfunction & my family members are all Minnesotans who still say "yah-you-betcha." Nothing about my life is exotic. Yet based solely upon my skin tone I'd perceived to be that way.

I'm reading the book New Moon by Stephanie Meyers and at one point in the book she refers to a female character who has brown skin as "pretty in an exotic kind of way." I nearly stopped reading the book. I'm only continuing the thing because it's about vampires & pretty good. But I think I need to write the author and ask her just what the hell she meant by that. Does it mean someone of color can't be a regular kind of pretty? How many classifications of pretty do we need? Must brown skin & beauty equal exotic? Exotic to me means "different" & "other."
And different & other are often really nice ways of saying less than. I'm no less a person because my parents fucked & made me.

So you may wonder just what did I say to this misguided young woman when she asked. I lied & said I was adopted & didn't know. Sometimes it's fun to do that & see all the things people try to project onto you. I just nodded at her guesses and said "I don't know...maybe." And if I had thought of it I would have asked her what it even mattered anyway. Why was it important to her. But my guess is she wouldn't have been able to examine her heart enough at that moment to answer & quite frankly I didn't care that much to have a discussion.

It's hard to know how to react when people say "you're so beautiful...exotic...what are you?" I know they're in part trying to compliment so I don't want to be all bitchy about it but on the other hand ignorance is not my shade of bliss & if I can prevent another person going though the silliness of such questions, I'd perhaps want to try. Well I'm off to have pizza with my beautiful & just plum pretty girlfriend. Thank goddess she she's my soul & not just my skin!

Babies!

I wish my girlfriend could knock me up. That would be so cool.

When I look into Her Eyes I Feel Like This

Photo courtesy of Freedigitalphotos.net

So open & beautiful. Full of natures glory. I know I know. More vomit inducing sappiness but I can't help it. This woman is so amazing I just can't help it. Sometimes I get scared because I can hardly take in the beauty of our relationship. It's so many things, all good. And what I have to remember is what brought us together & believe in that source & trust it. Can't begin to describe what I feel for her. I just know that it is good and real and hope to nuture it for a long time!
Peace!
~F

My Girlfriends Breasts

Okay I know this may be a crass subject but I got permission from the girlfriend so I can write about this. My girlfriends boobs are awesome! I'm not kidding they are such a fetching pair of boobies I can't help but just gaze upon their glory at times.

Last week I requested she give me her bra size. She does not know the exact size as she only wears sports bras but I'm thinking she's a B cup. In other words a lovely handful of boobie goodness. I wear a 32F so needless to say we really don't need another set of huge tits in our relationship. Her breasts are refreshingly delightful and despite their relative smallness compared to mine, plenty.

Her nipples are perfect in size, shape & color. And the breasts themselves have a firm yet soft shape that feels oh-so-good in my hands. What can I say I love breasts & hers are luscious. I can't wait to hold her tonight & feel her lovely titty tartlets upon me.

BTW here is my favorite Banksy image. Enjoy!Peace!
~F

Woo Hoo!

It's been just lovely here in Portland. Yesterday I finally switched out my summer wardrobe for my winter. I did 5 loads of laundry & have 2 1/2 to go. I have a lot of damn clothes! And since I've gained a few pounds again I'm too big for some of the clothes I wore last summer but too small for the clothes I wore the summer before that. Before I slept I began to obsess on needing to lose weight. Ahh the problems of the typical American.

This week was my sweetie & my 5 month anniversary. You know it's still new when you count the months. I can't even begin to articulate how amazing these last 5 months have been. Technically we've been dating since the first week of January but I like to count from our first outing together when I felt a strong connection & attraction. It was hard then because I was still seeing someone else who had really hurt my feelings on my birthday no less and was emotionally torn. But I still consider December 16th our first date as I felt something stir so deep that night that I knew somehow nothing would ever be the same.

We to this day have not had one argument or drama. It's been so fun and happy. It's been sexy & spiritual. We spend most nights together and work at the same place & yet everytime I see her I'm excited. I am straight up totally & completely in love and am so very grateful God/dess has put her in my life!

More good news as of today. I won a scholarship to Evergreen's 17th Annual Summer School for Union Women and Community Activists. I'm really excited to connect with other women on issues and passions that we have in common.
Now I just need to figure out how the heck I'm getting to Olympia!

Man today I just feel good! Perhaps it's the Stumptown coffee!

Last but not least I have a new blog. Yes another one. It's called My Daily Deuce. It's an online journal of my poop. No I'm not kidding! Don't worry there will be no poo poo photos or anything. Just whenever I get a chance I talk about my latest poop or shit related news. Why? Cuz it's funny!

Well here's a pic my girlfriend took of my on the bus the other day. Enjoy. It's called the juice face. Peace!

Fruit!

Photo courtesy of FreePhotosBank

Today I ate this yummy cake with fruit. I want more but must not! That's all for today.
~F

Some Links Cuz I'm Lazy

Yes I'd say more but it's nice out & I'm feelin' lazy.

• Too cute video that will make you consider having kids here.
• Make your own too kewl e-flower garden here. Left click anywhere on the screen.
• My latest essay on The Lesbian Lifestyle you can read here.
• Wanna know which 2008 Presidential canidate best fits you. Find out here.

Peace!

~F

The What Are You Experience

Re-listening to Addicted to Race Episode # 18 gave me the most meaningful answer to why the "what are you" question is so painfully annoying. All multiracial folks go through this & I'd like to pass on what guest Claire Light said in that episode.

"The experience that we all have in common (mixed race people) is the what are you experience, where people come up and have to address you and find out what your racial mix is and where you come from...

That moment is a very clear expression of discomfort with difference. And the thing that's most wearing about it is not having to address strangers. The thing that's most wearing is having to absorb other peoples discomfort with you day in and day out...

Whether you do it in a positive or negative way it doesn't matter. You're forcing the other person to deal with your discomfort."

Peace!

Hear Me Now! In Love in a too white Town

That's right! Would you like to listen to my goofy opinion on the Imus controversy? Well just get yerself over to the podcast Addicted to Race & listen to episode #68. I'm the first person giving feedback on episode #67 where Carmen & Yolanda discuss Imus & his ridiculousness. If you wish to get right into hearing moi, skip ahead about 8 minutes & then you can hear me wax philosophical about how his apology ought to have gone. Pardon the shameless plug but what can I say: I like to talk!

And now an update on my little world. I'm bleeding. I'm tired & yesterday I had the headache from hell. I took so much ibuprofen to knock it out I would up with a belly ache & had to take Tums. Am better today after napping my ass off all day as I had to leave work early & miss my home group. Today is a laundry day & will possibly finish the book Twilight by Stephanie Meyer. I can't believe I'm reading a young adult book on vampires, but it's pretty good actually. Tomorrow I'll have to grab New Moon, the next book in the series. Check out the customer comments on these books. Some of the girls leaving comments are so cute. One chick is all "I'm in love with the main character." Man I remember having literary crushes. Funny stuff.

Speaking of being so in love...I am! My sweetheart & I are doing beautifully. Everything is just so lovely. Not one fight, not one issue. Only sweetness & fun. I mean we have serious discussions about us, the world, family. Lately we've been talking about ...gulp...shacking up. And though were not ready yet, were getting ready to be ready if that makes any sense. Figuring out stuff like how we like the toilet paper to sit on the roll (over vs. under), chores we like/hate and what would be okay/not okay in our home such as alcohol or stoned friends. Anyway we decided that we'll know when we know when were ready & that courting is so important because you only get to court like this once & I'm loving it & wish to savor each moment!

My ladyfriend & I have also been discussing...gulp...kids. If we do/don't want them and if so would we adopt or what. I must admit I've been on the fence for a long long time. I've always felt like parenting depended on a number of factors like having a partner that was right & enough money & being personally healthy physically & emotionally. There is also the factor that fertility is indeed finite so if I wanted to squirt out a kid, my time sadly is limited. One thing I really would have to think about is about raising children of color here in Portland. It's the whitest town in America & many a day I question why I'm here because it sucks to be so surrounded by people who don't look like me and can barely understand anything about being a racial minority. It's a town filled with semi-well meaning folks who think because they vote democratic they're down with POC and that just isn't the case.

Last month I had to deal with folks at an otherwise lovely dinner get into a discussion over my ethnicity. Finally I just said "I'm a child of God & that's it." And I know no matter where I go I'm going to have to deal with someone being uncomfortable with my racial-ness but I can decrease the number of times this happens & live where there are more chances to feel connected to other POC that get it. This will likely not happen here in Oregon and I really don't want to make my kids go through the way I feel here. Shit even yesterday at work someone was making fun of the fact that some folks are uncomfortable going a place called the White Bar. Bloody hell how is that funny? And it's so gawd awful anglo there no one even needed to worry that the lone WOC was around the corner to hear the little funny. AHHHHH!

So babies are a possibility. I've met someone I want to have a family with. What will happen I don't know, so today I'm just going to keep on keeping on & take good care of myself. Peace!

Voodoo

Holy crap! I just ate a Tang doughnut from local Voodoo Doughnut. It was surprisingly good. There was a doughnut shaped like a guy that has raspberry filling & a pretzel in a particular place. Fun stuff. I'll have to go back for more.

Speaking of local eats check out my review of Juniors Cafe on Portland Citysearch here. I had such a great time there & am really looking forward to going back. Here is a pic of the meal I had a couple weeks ago. It's called the Spicy & was delightful with it's home made salsa & perfectly fried taters.
P.S. There is a website that helps to feed rescued animals. You can help by clicking on this and then clicking on the button that says "click here daily." Come on you know you wanna! Peace!