Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Yet Another WTF Moment in the Presidential Race
Does the image on the left look at all like the image on the right. Does that doll look anything like our future president? Via Racialicious was a post about a German toymaker who made this doll to commemorate Barack Obama. WTF y'all. WTF!
Friday, June 27, 2008
Burrito Fun
Okay so the longest time I heard about Chipotle mexican restaurants and how yummy their burritos are. But I had heard that they were owned by Anyway I ordered the food that looked a bit like this.
Chipotle Fan.com
*I've recently lost 12 lbs and have 5 more to go!
~F
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Oh Ralphie
"I haven’t heard him have a strong crackdown on economic exploitation in the ghettos. Payday loans, predatory lending, asbestos, lead. What’s keeping him from doing that? Is it because he wants to talk white? He doesn’t want to appear like Jesse Jackson? We’ll see all that play out in the next few months and if he gets elected afterwards."
Ralph Nader y'all said this. Oh my oh my. Where to even being? Via Racialicious an interesting & thought provoking post on what the hell Nader was talking about. My favorite comment so far on the blog is by deathblossom saying:
"Wait, wait, let me get my card out! 1. Caucasian guy telling a black man what it really means to be a black? Check. 2. Mention of the ghetto? Check. 3. Equating black with poor and inner city? Check. 4. Mention of the “threatening” black man? Check. 5. Free Space. BINGO! Thank you, Ralph Nader!" Amen to that! Sigh!
~F
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Link-a-dinks
Great article CNN's Anderson Cooper site ac360 on titled The Fallacy of Colorblind Post-raciality. It was written by Carmen Van Kerckhove of Racialicious. Here's an excerpt:
"Then why do people insist on claiming that they don’t notice color? Often, it’s because they are scared to death of being labeled a racist.
But here’s the thing. Noticing a person’s race doesn’t make you racist. What does make you racist is if you make assumptions about that person’s intellectual, physical, or emotional characteristics based on the race you think the person is.
And unfortunately, too many of us do make those assumptions. We’ve all internalized racist ideas – consciously or subconsciously – from our families, our environments, our media consumption, and more. Until we can understand that and begin to de-program ourselves, we cannot be truly “post-racial.”
Damali Ayo who some of you may remember as starting Reparations Day has her very own clothing line. And it's great! She's dynamic & so it's no surprise that her clothes are the same. And best yet the entire line is made with sustainability in mind. Plus where else can you get easy to wear fashion on a sliding scale price range. Check out CROW here.
And a bit of randomness with Arnold.
Do you think he actually punched that camel? I hope not!
Lastly is an announcement of sorts. Soon this blog will change it's name & possibly URL. QWOC has been good to me but I'm feeling the need to move on from that identity on the Internet & other places. No this is not some post-racial thing. I just feel that the way I see myself is far beyond socially constructed labels. The core of me is effected by such labels but does not make up the majority of who I am. An important & significant part, but not all. At all! So I'm working on the design & focus of the revised blog that will still discuss my being a queer woman of color, and intersectionality in general, but will not be the primary focus anymore. It's just part of me going to the next level in becoming myself.
Much love y'all!
~F
"Then why do people insist on claiming that they don’t notice color? Often, it’s because they are scared to death of being labeled a racist.
But here’s the thing. Noticing a person’s race doesn’t make you racist. What does make you racist is if you make assumptions about that person’s intellectual, physical, or emotional characteristics based on the race you think the person is.
And unfortunately, too many of us do make those assumptions. We’ve all internalized racist ideas – consciously or subconsciously – from our families, our environments, our media consumption, and more. Until we can understand that and begin to de-program ourselves, we cannot be truly “post-racial.”
Damali Ayo who some of you may remember as starting Reparations Day has her very own clothing line. And it's great! She's dynamic & so it's no surprise that her clothes are the same. And best yet the entire line is made with sustainability in mind. Plus where else can you get easy to wear fashion on a sliding scale price range. Check out CROW here.
And a bit of randomness with Arnold.
Do you think he actually punched that camel? I hope not!
Lastly is an announcement of sorts. Soon this blog will change it's name & possibly URL. QWOC has been good to me but I'm feeling the need to move on from that identity on the Internet & other places. No this is not some post-racial thing. I just feel that the way I see myself is far beyond socially constructed labels. The core of me is effected by such labels but does not make up the majority of who I am. An important & significant part, but not all. At all! So I'm working on the design & focus of the revised blog that will still discuss my being a queer woman of color, and intersectionality in general, but will not be the primary focus anymore. It's just part of me going to the next level in becoming myself.
Much love y'all!
~F
Well Poop!
 | 31 As a 1930s wife, I am |
I thought I'd make a great 1930's wife. Oh well! Also I found this in the blogs of note. Funny stuff at Fake Interviews with Real Celebrities.
~F
Monday, June 23, 2008
Mustache Anyone
I'm wearing a mustache today. It's really funny seeing the reactions folks have to it. Biological men seem to be extra fond of it. The stache makes me feel a wee bit more bold, as in, thinking about flirting with the obviously lesbian bus driver might be fun. Then I remembered my wife may not like that. A lot of my female co-workers think I'm cute in it. And my beloved says it doesn't itch too much when I kiss her. So all is well. I think everyone at some point might want to give wearing a mustache a try. It's an eye opening experience!~F
Sunday, June 22, 2008
On Love
This is my summer of love. Loving myself, loving my partner, loving what is. Of course this is good to do at all times, but this particular season, this love is my sole focus. A person cannot transmit what they don't have. This fact is known by many in recovery & other spiritual affiliations, but how often is it practiced? That's a question we must face within ourselves. Am I transmitting what I have? Or is what I'm giving tainted by ego, fear and in the end not really helping to make a true difference in the world?I'm as guilty as anyone, who believes in being of service, of misguided motivations. Trying to help when it really hinders progress or something similar. And those mistakes are alright because I've learned well by good intentions followed by less-than-good actions or vice versa. That is probably why is it so important to be connected to higher power at every possible moment. I may have mentioned on this blog before how it seems much easier to turn my will & life over to HP in my living room, than when I'm out in the world interacting with other people. I forget to ask for HP's words, thoughts & guidance in every single moment. But I believe I'm not the only one. 
Loving myself means believing in myself and the gifts HP has given me. Loving myself means no matter what, taking the time to eat well, get enough rest & relaxation. It means time for reverence, stillness and having fun. It means ignoring negativity from others & making friends with my inner critic.
Loving my partner has several elements too. My beloved is so sweet, so loving, so supportive. And she is deeply committed to me, as I am her. So this season, it is important to keep her & our relationship high on my list of priorities. This means attention, gratefulness & patience.
Lastly this season I wish to love what is. Meaning being in acceptance of everything, even things that at first don't make sense or that I don't even like. It means being willing to see the lesson, believe in the journey & have the willingness to connect to the greater mysteries of not-so-great events.
I think it's going to be a great summer. I wish each of you the same!
~F
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
Long Time, No Post
For those who live in areas where you haven't have your LGBTQ2s pride celebrations I want to wish you a happy Pride! Portland's was good as far as I could tell. This year I skipped the normal large gathering at the waterfront & focused on time with close queer friends. It was a good, emotional and busy weekend and my sweetie & I got to do all the activities we wanted. I'm glad it's over though & think next year, I wish to go out of town or something. I'm just losing my taste for queer only type things. In fact I seem to be losing my taste for specific group issues, communities & events. Funny since my blog is titled in such a way!
For a while I've been interested in a more global focus to my activism. Not always centering of just Americans of color or queers or women. But really finding a way to creatively do works for those in places where they may not have a voice, regardless of their backgrounds or identifications. After the last few weeks I've had, with a death, a son who needs help, & a complete breakdown in positive communication with a group I was volunteering for, I just feel the time is ripe to refocus on what is really important to my work & re-energize my body, mind & soul.
My sobriety sponsor walked me through the hardest days of the last few weeks. And has suggested something radical. She told me to have fun. Fun! I nearly forgot how to do that for a while but I do agree with her that a break from service and a focus on my own joy will be what I need to go on to the next journey. So I get to be a little selfish & do what is needed to remember the core of my life & work. This weekend I went with my beloved to the Avalon & played video games until my fingers were sore. It was great. We watched movies at home in in the theater (btw the new M. Night Shyamalan movie is not very good) and went dancing on Saturday night. It was just what I needed to start a summer of R&R.
Also I began doing the Artists Way program starting with the morning pages. Holy crap is it amazing how much I look forward each day to 3 pages of non-stop writing. It's really a meditation than just some creativity exercises. I'm excited to go deeper into the weekly exercises!
Anyway my Rob Brezney horoscope for the week really set the tone for where I need to be not only right now but always. I'm looking forward to a soulful summer. Peace!
You really have no right to tear yourself down. Badmouthing yourself is a first-degree sin, and so is being mean to yourself or depriving yourself of the care you need to thrive. This is always true, of course, but in the coming week it's more crucial than ever that you refrain from even the subtlest forms of self-abuse. To be anything less than an imaginative lover and nurturer toward yourself could upset the cosmic equilibrium so profoundly that everyone else would suffer, too. Therefore, you owe it to the rest of us to shower yourself with blessings.
*update*
I darn near forgot about a moment I wanted to share. Saturday night after going to a pride party downtown my sweet & I went to Holocene to check out their Dj's. The music sounded fun but we were tuckered out & wanted to relax without necessarily going home yet. We landed up the block at Rimsky's and ordered tea while listening to The Beatles. As we chatted quietly in a corner the song Blackbird came on. It's a song I like but have only heard a few times. As the song played we happened to be discussing my own personal re-emerging & re-energizing. My ears heard the following words sung:
"Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise."
Tears came to my eyes as my partner looked into me, holding my heart with such an expression of understanding and love. In that moment I felt broken & whole. Sadness and hope. I knew from that moment that many beautiful moments are ahead for me & us. Deep inside my body was a feeling of absolute acceptance for the past, present and future. The song was indeed the clear signal that this little bird is ready to fly. Peace.
For a while I've been interested in a more global focus to my activism. Not always centering of just Americans of color or queers or women. But really finding a way to creatively do works for those in places where they may not have a voice, regardless of their backgrounds or identifications. After the last few weeks I've had, with a death, a son who needs help, & a complete breakdown in positive communication with a group I was volunteering for, I just feel the time is ripe to refocus on what is really important to my work & re-energize my body, mind & soul.
My sobriety sponsor walked me through the hardest days of the last few weeks. And has suggested something radical. She told me to have fun. Fun! I nearly forgot how to do that for a while but I do agree with her that a break from service and a focus on my own joy will be what I need to go on to the next journey. So I get to be a little selfish & do what is needed to remember the core of my life & work. This weekend I went with my beloved to the Avalon & played video games until my fingers were sore. It was great. We watched movies at home in in the theater (btw the new M. Night Shyamalan movie is not very good) and went dancing on Saturday night. It was just what I needed to start a summer of R&R.
Also I began doing the Artists Way program starting with the morning pages. Holy crap is it amazing how much I look forward each day to 3 pages of non-stop writing. It's really a meditation than just some creativity exercises. I'm excited to go deeper into the weekly exercises!
Anyway my Rob Brezney horoscope for the week really set the tone for where I need to be not only right now but always. I'm looking forward to a soulful summer. Peace!
You really have no right to tear yourself down. Badmouthing yourself is a first-degree sin, and so is being mean to yourself or depriving yourself of the care you need to thrive. This is always true, of course, but in the coming week it's more crucial than ever that you refrain from even the subtlest forms of self-abuse. To be anything less than an imaginative lover and nurturer toward yourself could upset the cosmic equilibrium so profoundly that everyone else would suffer, too. Therefore, you owe it to the rest of us to shower yourself with blessings.
*update*
I darn near forgot about a moment I wanted to share. Saturday night after going to a pride party downtown my sweet & I went to Holocene to check out their Dj's. The music sounded fun but we were tuckered out & wanted to relax without necessarily going home yet. We landed up the block at Rimsky's and ordered tea while listening to The Beatles. As we chatted quietly in a corner the song Blackbird came on. It's a song I like but have only heard a few times. As the song played we happened to be discussing my own personal re-emerging & re-energizing. My ears heard the following words sung:
"Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise."
Tears came to my eyes as my partner looked into me, holding my heart with such an expression of understanding and love. In that moment I felt broken & whole. Sadness and hope. I knew from that moment that many beautiful moments are ahead for me & us. Deep inside my body was a feeling of absolute acceptance for the past, present and future. The song was indeed the clear signal that this little bird is ready to fly. Peace.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Stressed Out!
"I really know how it feels to be, stressed out, stressed out. When you're face to face with your adversity. I really know how it feels to be, stressed out, stressed out. Were gonna make this thing work out eventually." -Tribe Called Quest
Good gawd I'm feeling utterly overwhelmed. I mean so overloaded that I'm just trying to make it hour to hour today. I want to go on vacation & skip this whole next week. Want to sit on a warm beach with my sweetie & not have to worry about shit. About making anyone happy or follow through with plans. Just read in the sunlight & nap in the shade. But that's not an option & that's okay I guess. I know this is all in part of my own making.
The event next weekend will be a blast. But folks let me tell ya, event planning is pretty fucking hard. And for those of us planning it, it's been a week from hell in our personal lives for various reasons. So we are carrying on despite even little things going wrong like the office fax going kaput.
Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful too. For the lessons & the ability to try to even attempt to coordinate a LGBT pride block party. But never again will I do this. From here on out I only work on what has deep meaning for me. I mean parties are fun, don't get me wrong, but I would like to do a little more to actually improve the lives of marginalized peoples. And this has been the most important lesson I could learn right now. What my destiny truly is & what I really want to do with my life.
So this week I ask for your prayers QWOC readers. I can't do this alone. My grief over my friends death combined with concern for his son & my uncle with cancer & my cousin who leaves for Iraq soon is enough to make things hard. So the addition of finishing up an event of this scale just puts me this close to the edge of wanting to run away. Not drink or use or anything. Just run & run far. And that is, in the end, not a good option for me now or in the future.
Right now I'm trying to remember to keep things in perspective & breathe. And I thank each of you in advance for your loving thoughts!
~F
Good gawd I'm feeling utterly overwhelmed. I mean so overloaded that I'm just trying to make it hour to hour today. I want to go on vacation & skip this whole next week. Want to sit on a warm beach with my sweetie & not have to worry about shit. About making anyone happy or follow through with plans. Just read in the sunlight & nap in the shade. But that's not an option & that's okay I guess. I know this is all in part of my own making.
The event next weekend will be a blast. But folks let me tell ya, event planning is pretty fucking hard. And for those of us planning it, it's been a week from hell in our personal lives for various reasons. So we are carrying on despite even little things going wrong like the office fax going kaput.
Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful too. For the lessons & the ability to try to even attempt to coordinate a LGBT pride block party. But never again will I do this. From here on out I only work on what has deep meaning for me. I mean parties are fun, don't get me wrong, but I would like to do a little more to actually improve the lives of marginalized peoples. And this has been the most important lesson I could learn right now. What my destiny truly is & what I really want to do with my life.
So this week I ask for your prayers QWOC readers. I can't do this alone. My grief over my friends death combined with concern for his son & my uncle with cancer & my cousin who leaves for Iraq soon is enough to make things hard. So the addition of finishing up an event of this scale just puts me this close to the edge of wanting to run away. Not drink or use or anything. Just run & run far. And that is, in the end, not a good option for me now or in the future.
Right now I'm trying to remember to keep things in perspective & breathe. And I thank each of you in advance for your loving thoughts!
~F
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Portland Black Pride is Coming!
I'm still very much grieving & praying & working to help the young man I mentioned in my last post. I'm sending the son a care package this Friday with things a 19 year old male might need like socks & toothpaste. Anyway after 3 days of crying it's time to think of good things too.And Portland Black Pride is good!
As the coordinator for the block party I can say a lot of fun will be had. If y'all want to volunteer or learn more about Portland Black Pride come to our pre-event happy hour at Crush, 1400 SE Morrison, the same place the block part will be. The fun starts at 5:30pm this Thursday, June 5th.
Peace!
~F
Sunday, June 01, 2008
The Difference Between Sadness and Tragedy
The difference between sadness & tragedy is the way in which someone dies and how those circumstances effect others. I know this because someone in my life was murdered. He was killed for no reason by people who have not been caught. He left behind a 19 year old son who is now an orphan.
Three young men on bicycles, one with a gun, shot my friend, fatally wounding him on July 31st 2007. I found about this yesterday and am feeling so many emotions that it's how to even name the feelings. My friend had been much more than a friend. He was a father figure and the only man in my young life who ever loved me & protected me. It was not my father but Melvin. Even when I saw him in Detroit a few years ago he was protecting me. The only man who ever protected my life & future.
He had had a stroke a couple years ago & had trouble recovering but finally got better. When my mom, who was sweethearts with him when I was a very young girl, and then 25 years later for a time, hadn't heard from him in a few months she got worried. Was afraid he had a permanently debilitating stroke and couldn't contact us. So finally she sent a certified letter that needed to be signed upon receipt. When she finally got a response back it was from Melvin's son explaining what had happened to his father and him.
The son is without a phone. Without lights or heat. The home he lives in is paid for but there are property taxes and utilities that this 19 year old doesn't know how to deal with on his own. Yes the son was spoiled by his dad. Yes it was a disservice. But Melvin was trying to do his best and make up for other mistakes in his life. Now his son, at this very moment has no mother, no father, no TV, no lights, no family nearby, no phone, no help. And it appears no one investigating his father's murder.
I'm not sure what else to say. This type of death feels so different than any other. All death is hard, but to have a loved one killed... it's shocking & beyond understanding right now. And his son needs help. Needs someone to help him help himself. Since July 31st Melvin's son has needed help. It's high time he gets some.
Three young men on bicycles, one with a gun, shot my friend, fatally wounding him on July 31st 2007. I found about this yesterday and am feeling so many emotions that it's how to even name the feelings. My friend had been much more than a friend. He was a father figure and the only man in my young life who ever loved me & protected me. It was not my father but Melvin. Even when I saw him in Detroit a few years ago he was protecting me. The only man who ever protected my life & future.
He had had a stroke a couple years ago & had trouble recovering but finally got better. When my mom, who was sweethearts with him when I was a very young girl, and then 25 years later for a time, hadn't heard from him in a few months she got worried. Was afraid he had a permanently debilitating stroke and couldn't contact us. So finally she sent a certified letter that needed to be signed upon receipt. When she finally got a response back it was from Melvin's son explaining what had happened to his father and him.
The son is without a phone. Without lights or heat. The home he lives in is paid for but there are property taxes and utilities that this 19 year old doesn't know how to deal with on his own. Yes the son was spoiled by his dad. Yes it was a disservice. But Melvin was trying to do his best and make up for other mistakes in his life. Now his son, at this very moment has no mother, no father, no TV, no lights, no family nearby, no phone, no help. And it appears no one investigating his father's murder.
I'm not sure what else to say. This type of death feels so different than any other. All death is hard, but to have a loved one killed... it's shocking & beyond understanding right now. And his son needs help. Needs someone to help him help himself. Since July 31st Melvin's son has needed help. It's high time he gets some.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Racist Feminists & Bizarre Fruit
If you ever needed proof that feminists can indeed be racist, let me provide said proof. Via Racialicious & What Tami Said were details on a recent article by Nina Burleigh on the Huffington Post. In the Huffington piece, Burleigh posits that Mr. Obama is not a feminist until he addresses the OJ Simpson trial or the misogyny that exists in some rap. I love how Tami responded:
Will Hillary Clinton be taking a stand against Susan Smith, the white woman who murdered her children a year after the Simpson-Goldman murders and blamed their disappearance on a mysterious black man? Should she be expected to? The idea is ludicrous and so is any notion that black people always need to answer for the behavior of people who share their skin color.
I don’t need Barack Obama to be the second coming of Andrea Dworkin or a Black Panther. As a black person and a woman, I need to know that, as president, he will move this country closer to equality for all people. That means helping to close the wage gap between women and men, and white women and women of color. It means ensuring committed gay couples have the same rights as committed heterosexual ones. It means ensuring that kids in poor inner-city and rural areas are guaranteed a good education just like rich kids in the suburbs. I’m not arrogant enough to think that I am the only person on earth to face inequality, and I am not entitled enough to think that a president’s work need be all about me. I wish some of my fellow American citizens felt the same way.
Almost worse than Ms. Burleigh's racist assertion's about what Mr. Obama should address as feminist issues was the writers blatant low regard for Black men she has & has not encountered:
The black guys came to school with picks in their huge Afros, and joints in their pockets, and we danced with them to Bootsy’s Rubber Band, in parentless, pot-scented, subsidized living rooms.
We never imagined that in our lifetime, we would someday be competing for the spoils of dying-Empire America. [umm you're surprised you would be competing because they're Black & therefore not able to compete?]
...I have no idea what happened to any of those young black men. Did they get lucky, draw the affirmative action straw and get into private colleges and law school, get promoted up the EEOC ranks of a multi-national? Or, are they delivering mail, pounding nails, in jail?
Ghaaah! Treacle on Racialicious made a great comment: "Obama is not campaigning to be the President of black people in the United States." And you know Hilary is not campaigning to be President of white women or all women for that matter. Dear gawd can this election be over soon?
So on to better things...
Last night I tasted a very strange fruit indeed (and I'm not talking about my girlfriend) called a miracle fruit. This little fruit provides one of the strangest culinary experiences a person could have. The fruit is about the size and shape of a very large fleshy seed & is red in color. You bite into it & let it's juices coat your tongue for at least 10 seconds, but I think 30 seconds is best. As you chew this fruit it's flavor begins to change & suddenly a burst of absolute sweet fills the mouth. Next is the real fun. Take something sour like a lime or lemon and put it in your mouth. Everything sour tastes sweet! It's amazing! And what's great is there is no fructose in this fruit so it's perfect for diabetics or anyone needing to avoid sugar. Apparently there's a restaurant in Japan that serves desserts without sugar & has patrons eat the fruits before consuming said desserts. Cool huh?!
You can get these fruits at: http://miraclefruitman.com/
Peace!
~F
Will Hillary Clinton be taking a stand against Susan Smith, the white woman who murdered her children a year after the Simpson-Goldman murders and blamed their disappearance on a mysterious black man? Should she be expected to? The idea is ludicrous and so is any notion that black people always need to answer for the behavior of people who share their skin color.
I don’t need Barack Obama to be the second coming of Andrea Dworkin or a Black Panther. As a black person and a woman, I need to know that, as president, he will move this country closer to equality for all people. That means helping to close the wage gap between women and men, and white women and women of color. It means ensuring committed gay couples have the same rights as committed heterosexual ones. It means ensuring that kids in poor inner-city and rural areas are guaranteed a good education just like rich kids in the suburbs. I’m not arrogant enough to think that I am the only person on earth to face inequality, and I am not entitled enough to think that a president’s work need be all about me. I wish some of my fellow American citizens felt the same way.
Almost worse than Ms. Burleigh's racist assertion's about what Mr. Obama should address as feminist issues was the writers blatant low regard for Black men she has & has not encountered:
The black guys came to school with picks in their huge Afros, and joints in their pockets, and we danced with them to Bootsy’s Rubber Band, in parentless, pot-scented, subsidized living rooms.
We never imagined that in our lifetime, we would someday be competing for the spoils of dying-Empire America. [umm you're surprised you would be competing because they're Black & therefore not able to compete?]
...I have no idea what happened to any of those young black men. Did they get lucky, draw the affirmative action straw and get into private colleges and law school, get promoted up the EEOC ranks of a multi-national? Or, are they delivering mail, pounding nails, in jail?
Ghaaah! Treacle on Racialicious made a great comment: "Obama is not campaigning to be the President of black people in the United States." And you know Hilary is not campaigning to be President of white women or all women for that matter. Dear gawd can this election be over soon?
So on to better things...
Last night I tasted a very strange fruit indeed (and I'm not talking about my girlfriend) called a miracle fruit. This little fruit provides one of the strangest culinary experiences a person could have. The fruit is about the size and shape of a very large fleshy seed & is red in color. You bite into it & let it's juices coat your tongue for at least 10 seconds, but I think 30 seconds is best. As you chew this fruit it's flavor begins to change & suddenly a burst of absolute sweet fills the mouth. Next is the real fun. Take something sour like a lime or lemon and put it in your mouth. Everything sour tastes sweet! It's amazing! And what's great is there is no fructose in this fruit so it's perfect for diabetics or anyone needing to avoid sugar. Apparently there's a restaurant in Japan that serves desserts without sugar & has patrons eat the fruits before consuming said desserts. Cool huh?!
You can get these fruits at: http://miraclefruitman.com/
Peace!
~F
Monday, May 26, 2008
Who Knew Domestic Partnership Really Does Come in Handy
A few months ago as some of you may remember I got domesticated. As in my partner & I registered with the state of Oregon as domestic partners. Well little did I know that it would come in handy already.My beloved & I work for the same company & last week while I felt like I was nearly dying with the flu, my sweetheart needed to leave work early to take me to the doctors. When she asked if she could leave early she was told she couldn't because it wasn't she who was sick. But she explained that there was no way I could get to the docs on my own & her boss responded that she could only use emergency leave if we were married/domestic partnered. "Well we are" she said to her boss. So my poor sweetie had to go talk to HR about it & confirm, yes were legal & have been since March thank-you-very-much! So they let her take off so she could drive me to my doctor.
I had no idea we would be called to validate our relationship so soon and I had no idea that our workplace would be the entity to need our relationship to be legal. Crazy! I'm so glad that my love & I registered and realize even more how important it is for same sex couples to have equal relationship rights. If my sweet hadn't been able to get me to the doctor it would have taken me that much longer to recover & get back on my feet as a tax paying citizen. Anyway that's my story du jour. Peace!
~F
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Sick (of it)
Well folks I've been dealing with a number of health crises in the last few weeks. I have not shared too much on here because some things are personal & it's been difficult. I was diagnosed with candidiasis aka Candida last month and it's been a hell of a struggle. My diet has changed in addition to some other things to get better but my progress despite all my work is slow-going. This is because in part my immune system is not fully functioning. Many things feel out-of-whack but I'm trying to keep up a fighting spirit even when I have pain and other yucky symptoms.
2 weeks ago I was in the emergency room for severe stomach pain and since last Sunday I've had a sinus infection & flu. Probably the worst flu I've had since I was a kid. I was in so much pain I was crying in the doctors office. Finally I'm on the up side but I have to take it easy this week as the infection found it's way to my lungs & I have asthma & can't take any steroids or antibiotics because of my systematic yeast condition.
But I remain grateful. Glad to have insurance, doctors, friends and a supportive partner. I don't know what I would have done this month without them. So I keep on keeping on because there is no other choice. Anyway I hope to have more to share that is not about me later this week. Until then enjoy this great pic I found.
~F
Learn more about Soul Soldiers here.
2 weeks ago I was in the emergency room for severe stomach pain and since last Sunday I've had a sinus infection & flu. Probably the worst flu I've had since I was a kid. I was in so much pain I was crying in the doctors office. Finally I'm on the up side but I have to take it easy this week as the infection found it's way to my lungs & I have asthma & can't take any steroids or antibiotics because of my systematic yeast condition.
But I remain grateful. Glad to have insurance, doctors, friends and a supportive partner. I don't know what I would have done this month without them. So I keep on keeping on because there is no other choice. Anyway I hope to have more to share that is not about me later this week. Until then enjoy this great pic I found.
~F
Learn more about Soul Soldiers here.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Mildred Loving in Her Own Words
In honor of Mildred Loving who died on the 2nd of this month and California's reversal on banning same sex marriage, I'd like to post her statement on marriage equality in full. I think these words touch me in particular because I am queer & of color. Please enjoy!
Loving for All
By Mildred Loving
Prepared for delivery on June 12, 2007, on the 40th anniversary of the Loving vs. Virginia announcement
When my late husband, Richard, and I got married in Washington, D.C. in 1958, it wasn't to make a political statement or start a fight. We were in love and we wanted to be married. We didn't get married in Washington because we wanted to marry there. We did it there because the government wouldn't allow us to marry back home in Virginia where we grew up, where we met, where we fell in love and where we wanted to be together and build our family. You see, I am a woman of color and Richard was white, and at that time people believed it was okay to keep us from marrying because of their ideas of who should marry whom.
When Richard and I came back to our home in Virginia, happily married, we had no intention of battling over the law. We made a commitment to each other in our love and lives, and now had the legal commitment, called marriage, to match. Isn't that what marriage is?
Not long after our wedding, we were awakened in the middle of the night in our own bedroom by deputy sheriffs and actually arrested for the "crime" of marrying the wrong kind of person. Our marriage certificate was hanging on the wall above the bed.
The state prosecuted Richard and me, and after we were found guilty, the judge declared: “Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix.” He sentenced us to a year in prison, but offered to suspend the sentence if we left our home in Virginia for 25 years exile.
We left and got a lawyer. Richard and I had to fight, but still were not fighting for a cause. We were fighting for our love.
Though it turned out we had to fight, happily Richard and I didn't have to fight alone. Thanks to groups like the ACLU and the NAACP Legal Defense & Education Fund, and so many good people around the country willing to speak up, we took our case for the freedom to marry all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court. And on June 12, 1967, the Supreme Court ruled unanimously that, "The freedom to marry has long been recognized as one of the vital personal right is essential to the orderly pursuit of happiness by free men," a "basic civil right."
My generation was bitterly divided over something that should have been so clear and right. The majority believed that what the judge said, that it was God's plan to keep people apart, and that government should discriminate against people in love. But I have lived long enough now to see big changes. The older generation's fears and prejudices have given way, and today's young people realize that if someone loves someone they have a right to marry.
Surrounded as I am now by wonderful children and grandchildren, not a day goes by that I don't think of Richard and our love, our right to marry, and how much it meant to me to have that freedom to marry the person precious to me, even if others thought he was the "wrong kind of person" for me to marry. I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry. Government has no business imposing some people’s religious beliefs over others. Especially if it denies people’s civil rights.
I am still not a political person, but I am proud that Richard's and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness, and the family that so many people, black or white, young or old, gay or straight seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all.
That's what Loving, and loving, are all about.
Loving for All
By Mildred Loving
Prepared for delivery on June 12, 2007, on the 40th anniversary of the Loving vs. Virginia announcement
When my late husband, Richard, and I got married in Washington, D.C. in 1958, it wasn't to make a political statement or start a fight. We were in love and we wanted to be married. We didn't get married in Washington because we wanted to marry there. We did it there because the government wouldn't allow us to marry back home in Virginia where we grew up, where we met, where we fell in love and where we wanted to be together and build our family. You see, I am a woman of color and Richard was white, and at that time people believed it was okay to keep us from marrying because of their ideas of who should marry whom.
When Richard and I came back to our home in Virginia, happily married, we had no intention of battling over the law. We made a commitment to each other in our love and lives, and now had the legal commitment, called marriage, to match. Isn't that what marriage is?
Not long after our wedding, we were awakened in the middle of the night in our own bedroom by deputy sheriffs and actually arrested for the "crime" of marrying the wrong kind of person. Our marriage certificate was hanging on the wall above the bed.
The state prosecuted Richard and me, and after we were found guilty, the judge declared: “Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix.” He sentenced us to a year in prison, but offered to suspend the sentence if we left our home in Virginia for 25 years exile.
We left and got a lawyer. Richard and I had to fight, but still were not fighting for a cause. We were fighting for our love.
Though it turned out we had to fight, happily Richard and I didn't have to fight alone. Thanks to groups like the ACLU and the NAACP Legal Defense & Education Fund, and so many good people around the country willing to speak up, we took our case for the freedom to marry all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court. And on June 12, 1967, the Supreme Court ruled unanimously that, "The freedom to marry has long been recognized as one of the vital personal right is essential to the orderly pursuit of happiness by free men," a "basic civil right."
My generation was bitterly divided over something that should have been so clear and right. The majority believed that what the judge said, that it was God's plan to keep people apart, and that government should discriminate against people in love. But I have lived long enough now to see big changes. The older generation's fears and prejudices have given way, and today's young people realize that if someone loves someone they have a right to marry.
Surrounded as I am now by wonderful children and grandchildren, not a day goes by that I don't think of Richard and our love, our right to marry, and how much it meant to me to have that freedom to marry the person precious to me, even if others thought he was the "wrong kind of person" for me to marry. I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry. Government has no business imposing some people’s religious beliefs over others. Especially if it denies people’s civil rights.
I am still not a political person, but I am proud that Richard's and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness, and the family that so many people, black or white, young or old, gay or straight seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all.
That's what Loving, and loving, are all about.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
8 Things Mixed Race Folks Don't Want to Hear
Love this! Diversity Inc. has a great article on what not to say or ask mixed race folks & they are on point. Author Yoji Cole recited 8 key phrases or questions that many of us get and are sick to death of. Story example are included so check out the whole article here. Here are the 8 very annoying & dehumanizing sayings/questions:
- "What are you?"
- "What is your nationality?" or "You look foreign"
- "You're all beautiful" or "You make beautiful babies"
- "Are you X or Y?" or "Which side are you more on?"
- "How in the world did your parents meet?"
- "You're the future" or "You have the best of both worlds"
- "You don't look …" or "You're not …" or "You sound white"
- "Aren't we all mixed anyway?"
If I had a dime for everyone of those I've heard, especially 1, 2, 3, 6 & 7. Anyway I hope everyone is well & I was happy to realize today that today's post is the 401st. I can't believe have wrote over 400 posts! Who knew this blogging thing would stick for me. And though I have been a little lax due to being so effing busy in other areas, I'm still so glad to have QWOC and all of you wonderful readers. Have a great mother's day!~F
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Forgiveness
I've been thinking about & practicing forgiveness a lot so far this month. Been thinking too about love and how much I'd like every moment, thought and decision to be based in love and how hard that can be in the "smaller" moments of life.This week I met with an old friend. She & I became tight after a few years & at one point I lived with her & her wife in their spare room. After the break up of one of my relationships, this friend & her wife not only stayed friends with the ex, but seemed to hang out even more with the ex than me. I felt my friends were being disloyal and promptly ended the friendship after a huge yelling match on the phone.
This old friend & I eventually ran into each other at a gay pride a couple years ago, about 2 years after our fight, and hugged & re-exchanged numbers but never contacted each other. Recently this old friend was at the same place I was & we chatted briefly but it was awkward & just sort of weird I guess. So I extended an olive branch & texted her asking if she'd like to get together. After a few voice & text messages we got together this weekend and caught up on each other's lives.
It was great to see her again and I felt good basking in our familiarity and connection. It wasn't scary or very hard. But I wondered when to bring up what has kept us apart. Finally after we had caught up we stood under a tree near my home, watching the rain fall upon the ground & hugged for a long while & told each other we were sorry. All the details seemed to be said in the hug and I once again felt that she was my friend. And though I admit I will take my time trusting her again, I will try to be a good friend to her if that is our path. Slowly, slowly, slowly.
Terrible things happen to people all the time. Every minute of the day. Small things & very tragic things. How do we love when someone simply annoys us? How do we forgive when our bodies & minds are pushed to the limits by pain inflicted by others? Where do we start? And what is the point?
Three different situations that involved pain I learned of from friends this weekend. One more terrible than the next. Each friend I honor & yet I feel so helpless because I know they have to go though their pain & get to the place in their own time, of forgiveness, so they can be free to fully love.
But I also listened to stories of transcendence. The ability to love & forgive & have compassion in situations that seemed unforgivable. I'd like to share two of the stories.
For more stories please check out StoryCorps. Also if you're struggling with forgiveness please try this wonderful online ritual. Peace!
~F
Friday, May 02, 2008
Noooooooooo!
My girl, my secret hollyweird crush Mariah Carey is quite possibly married to Nick Cannon. Waaaaah!My only hope is that he is her "beard" and the whole union is just to protect her love of the ladies. That's the only way I can take this news. Because I love Mimi. Not in that crazy unattainable way but I love her music, style & persona. Ever since I saw her debut on the Arsenio Hall show many moons ago I have been smitten. It was the first time I saw a clearly mixed race person on stage. I never forgot it & her life story is quite amazing. Plus to me she is feminine to the hilt & I love it!
Anyway I don't care if she really is into Mr. Cannon or not, I'm still a fan. But for my sanity... to me she's the epitome of a lipstick lesbian & in my fantasies I'll keep it that way.
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