Getting Ready for December

As I've noted before I'm totally in the Spirit of the Season this year. I'm excited for many things. My birthday being one of them. This year I turn 33. Perhaps it's the Catholic in me but because I'll be the same age Jesus was when he died, a part of me feels like this will be a really powerful year in my life. So this birthday I continuing a ritual I do every year. And that it to nurture myself with a lovely & kind of expensive gift. We get a bonus check every year for the holidays at work & since I've been getting caught up (at long last!) with my finances, I can put these dollars aside as I always have.

In prior years my m.o. is usually an activity of some type that I do alone & completely for my self. In years past I've had a facial, gone to Seattle overnight for a concert, had an expensive dinner, went to a basketball game and other fun things. This year I'm celebrating another year of life by having a goddess day and taking part in something called "The Ritual." It involves 2 1/2 hours of massage, mud bathing, cocoon wrapping & an herbal steam bath. It's a treat that I deserve & am really looking forward to. It's hard sometimes for me to be a little selfish and spend that much money, but all people deserve some pampering.

It was quite an Internet journey to find the right place for this spa experience. Some places were near my home but had terrible reviews. Others were overpriced or didn't offer what I was really looking for. I knew more than anything I want my entire body to be surrounded in warm, goopy comfort. I want to relax & renew & I finally found the place that seemed a match after calling three locations. I hope it's a nice time & will report back on my goddess day.

Speaking of Goddesses I found some quizzes on this subject & I thought I'd share. I know these are not comprehensive quizzes and besides Goddesses are hard to put into little neat packages but it was fun to discover some tidbits.

The Goddesses I am most like are Persephone, Artemis & Oshun. Try the Which Goddess are you Ruled by quiz as well as the What Goddess Are You quiz.

If any of you take the quizzes let me know what goddesses you are! Peace!
~F

My Best Friend

Before I get into my topic du jour I wanted to give props to a couple blogs I recently discovered. One is a pick from the Blogs of Note category on Blogger called Attitude of Gratitude. It's a great blog with beautiful pictures, lovely quotes and a list of things the author is grateful for. Even if a person is not in recovery I think there is much to appreciate on it. The next blog is a very sweet one called Queer Love. It's kinda like a Post Secret for queers. It's basically letters to & from fellow homo's & it's refreshing. And now onto my topic!

I have some truly remarkable people in my life. Folks I can call best friends. I have one in Minnesota who I've been friends with since I was 12 years old. Every time we visit it's as if we've never been apart. She resides in my psychic space and can trust that she will always be in my life. I have another wonderful best friend who has been in my life just over 2 years. We've journeyed through new sobriety together and have talked about everything from sex to money to manicures. She is someone whom I can tell the truth and she knows my heart. Another dear dear friend is a saucy curmudgeon who I can gossip with and go dancing with. We celebrate important things together & he keeps me from getting too whimsical in my general philosophies. I know he doesn't understand every motive of mine, but he's loved me through my most yucky mistakes. That's a true friend.

And now I have another person I can call a best friend. She is patient, loyal, sweet, feisty and has the kindest soul I've ever met. She's one of those people we consider angels who walk among us. She's my partner, lover & wife to be. Not only do I love her as my significant other but I love her most for her friendship. She accepts me as I am yet encourages my potential. We can have fun anywhere we go. We talk about every goofy & meaningful subject there is. We dance around each other with glee & share so many common interests. It's not always easy to find a good friend. And a best friend is a rare treasure. When you can share the depths of your heart and know the other will hold it safe, and that you hold them sacred in your own heart too, that's a damn miracle. I have that with my beloved. I have that with all my best friends.

So today I celebrate best friends. People who tell the truth, share struggles & triumphs, people who love us unconditionally but with good boundaries. Our friends who are dedicated to us by a bond stronger than blood. I'm grateful for these gifts!

~F

NaBlaPoMo No Mo'

I couldn't do it. Yesterday it was just too hard to get to a computer. See I don't actually own one. Usually I use the "pooter" on my lunch breaks or after work. Yesterday was just too busy with holiday cooking, eating & relaxing with peeps. So no prize for me this year. I'm okay with that as I was getting sick of coming up with stuff everyday.

Today has been good. It's not so raging busy at work, or maybe it is but I'm in a good mood & don't mind. In fact I'd say I'm *gasp* in the holiday spirit. I'm ready to decorate the house & trim my pubes a tree. I think this will be a good Christmas holiday. Yay!
Peace be with y'all!
~F

Turkey Day

Food is good! happy Thanksgiving versus thanks-taking!



Peace be with y'all!
~F

Pre T-Day Thoughts

I have to do a lot of cooking tomorrow.
Hopefully I won't be too exhausted for Friday's retail blitz.
Yeast infection better thanks to garlic in my cooch & a pill.
Blah.

~F

I Pity the Fool Who Doesn't like My New QWOC Seal

Ahh the good folks at Says.it.com have many fun things to make virtually. One can make a record label, a ticket stub and many other wacky things. I made this new seal & I hope y'all like it as it's going to be on this site for a while. Enjoy!

Also I wanted to add this video. So damn funny & cute! Peace!

Links I Like

Oh lordy I have the yeast infection from hell! I just want to curl up in a ball & make it go away. I was recently on antibiotics & that's what has caused this ruckus in my crotch. Jeez. So to take my mind off the burning, searing, throbbing pain, I'll now share some new favorite links that I'll get to putting on the sidebar eventually if they're not already there.

Stereohyped has been a favorite of mine for a while. I love this blog because there is juicy celebrity gossip, justice issues often come up & the writing is witty in the right places.

Slate Magazine Online has some thought provoking articles. Some I agree with & some I don't. But the writing is well thought out & there are a myriad of topics to browse & read about. If you want to mix pop culture and politics, Slate is a good choice.

From the NaBloPoMo Randomizer I've discovered the cutest blog called Girlrobot. The blogger' name is Kim and she posts recipes, money saving tips, really fun links every Friday and other various whatnot. Her style is light & breezy & I learn something interesting every time I stop by.

If I haven't already mentioned it I think Michelle Singletary's Color of Money column at the Washington Post is outstanding. She tackles finances from a POC point of view while being accessible to all. Plus she looks deeply into what is & is not being said about people of color & their money stuff. I'm so glad I found this!

And last but not least there's this: Cute Overload. It really speaks for itself! If you like extra cute pics of cute little animals, check it out!

Well I've got to go get some ice or cranberry juice or something now. Peace!
~F

January 6th is Coming

What's going on January 6th 2008? The season premier of The L Word. Oh how I adore this terrible show. It's naughty & ridiculous & I love it! Mainly because I love watching hot girls make out and there are a heck of a lot of women of color on the show, which adds to the turn on factor. Yay L Word.

~F

I Have a Really Big...

uvula!

Meat, Wheat, Dairy, Sugar & Soy...oh Boy! The Foods I Need to Avoid to be Healthier

My favorite food is pizza. My favorite pizza is something most folks find disgusting but I love it. It's the Chef Boyardee Pizza Kit and I love this pizza with an unholy lust! It's got more preservatives than you can shake a stick at but tastes out of this world! And if I have to streamline my diet I don't care what anyone says, I'm keeping my boxed pizza!

My endometriosis is kicking up again quite severely. It's been almost 5 years since I've had laparoscopic surgery for it and I had hoped that it would cure the endo forever. It certainly was better for a white. I still has pain but I'd say I was 70% better overall. Now though I'm very tired all the time again, have pain just about everyday and the worst is that it's affecting my sex life. No details on that other than that my partner & I may need to find a shorter dildo. That's right I said it: DILDO.

Anyway one of the best ways to combat this disease is with diet. Obviously what's best for almost any illness is best for anyone. Lots of fresh fruits & veggies, organic everything, good oils & the elimination of bad fats, less meat & caffeine & sugar, and according to some less soy. Like with any illness there is always someone who got the answer. From people who know nothing about it and ask if you've tried acupuncture to those who want to sell you their miracle cure. So I need to spend sometime researching again & listening to my own heart.

Regular massages, Castor oil packs & certain vitamins all help too. But I know from experience that when I eat well I feel better. A big duh right? Last night I got hit upside the head with saddened about my fertility & what this disease has been doing to my body all these years. I went to pee, which when having endo can be painful to the bladder, sat on the toilet & out of no where started sobbing. I usually know before I'm going to cry but this tear fest came from out of blue and lingered with me until my partner put me to be. There is now way to know what the future holds. If one day I'll no longer have a uterus. If I'll be able to reproduce successfully. If I'll beat endo & help others to as well. For now I'm grateful there are paths to health & that I am not alone.
Peace!
~F

Lucy & 2 Years!

This is Lucy. She is the sister of Sydney, whom I posted about last week. She weighs less than 3lbs. and has the loudest damn dog scream you could imagine. Despite the fact that she is really named Lucifer because she really deserves it, she also melt my heart as much as anything pure & sweet. I love Lucy for her demanding need for affection. I love her for her constant shaking. She is the apple of my eye too and my world wouldn't be the same with out her!

Also today is the day I've been sober for 2 years in a row. It's a kinda bittersweet b-day for a myriad of reasons. I'm without a doubt grateful to be sober. I suppose I'm just so one-day-at-a-time in my life that the whole thing doesn't feel like much of a big deal to me. In sober b-days past I'd have a party and make speeches & just be full of emotions. Today I just want to get back home to watch a Denzel Washington movie and do my wife to be. Anywho it's a good day to be sober and alive. I'm happy and know myself & that's what the journey of recovery, all my years in in since I was 18, is about. Peace!
~F

Lights Out!

My partner woke me at 4:30ish am this morning to tell me "something weird is going on." And goodness it was. We had a blackout in our home. The clock I set to wake in for work was dark faced. The microwave clock was off. Everything in our home was quiet & dark grey. Looking outside we saw that it wasn't just us but as far as we could see from our windows were a lack of street lamps lit and not houses with any lights on whatsoever. Off we skulked through our neighborhood to discover where the light stopped and started for our neighborhood.

Soon we were back home putting items for the fridge in the freezer and setting my alarm on my cell phone to wake me for work. Then at 7:30am we heard a kind of pop and what do you know, our home was running again. A strange night indeed. Here's a link to a story a local news station did on it. Anyway I woke up very grateful an hour later for the electricity to be running again. Grateful for the ability to pay the light bill so we could have lights in the first place. And also grateful for the home in which our electricity ran. BTW here's a silly pic o' me. Peace!
~F

This is What Passes as News? And Communist Medicine

Okay so first off this fool was on Fox Sleeze News, so I take that with a grain of salt. All I can say is God help us all if this is what passes as news. I cannot believe folks take this shit seriously. And too boot if you watch the video, this dude uses the term Chinese instead of Asian. Not all Asian folks are Chinese people! Clearly we live in a time where intelligence is not a prerequisite for a discussion of work, people or ethics. *sigh*

On a side note my good pal Zee had a good post today on the history of health care in the U.S. of A. Check it out here. One for instance that I didn't know is that Former Prez Truman wanted Universal health care for all citizens. The American Medical Association (AMA) said it was a communist plot. *sigh* *sigh*
Peace!
~F

NaBloPoMo is Making Me Dumb

I swear since I started this round of NaBloPoMo it's as if all the meaningful shit I want to blog about is alluding me. So I'm not sure if I'm even going to continue because I'd rather give some substance that half assed whatnot on a daily basis. Since November I'd say I've written three quality heart felt posts. The rest have basically been filler. Though oddly most of the filler has been stuff I'd write about when I wasn't doing NaBloPoMo, but in the tradition of harsh self-criticism, I feel the "filler" is too fluffy for some reason.

There just isn't a lot I have to say publicly at the moment. I must be glad though that it's not quite half way though the month and I've already posted about 2 out of 3 subjects I wished to address. So that's good.

With all this belly button gazing in this post I'll wrap it up. Just know QWOC readers (if you're still with me, it's been quiet on the comments) I'm trying to make this a meaningful, funny and honest space. And if I don't feel that's happening then I'm not going to continue publishing stuff that doesn't feel "authentic" to moi. Failure can be an option. If Jay Smooth can keep his integrity and admit defeat, shiiiiiiit, so can I. So tomorrow I don't know if you'll see a post. But know if you do, no matter how silly, gross or sassy, it will come from the heart. If not, I'll try and discover some new blogs & report back. BTW here's Jay's latest from his lovely vlog. Peace!
~F

Cunts!

Remember the post I did a while back about how excited I was to get the Cunt Coloring Book? Well I have 4 lovely cunts I colored that I'm showing off today. You may not find it a proper post today but hopefully you'll find it beautiful. Okay here we go...

Kewl huh. Anyway speaking of lady parts my doc isn't so sure I'll be able to have kids. At my annual pap last week she noticed that my uterus doesn't flop around (and wave it's hands in the air like it just don't care) as a normal uterus does. It's quite hard from scar tissue from endometriosis. If I can't have kids from my cooch that's fine as I know I'd love my kids whether it was from my body or not. It was just a bit of a bummer to think my body may not function so well. Though being as tired as I feel today I know my body doesn't always function well at times. We'll see, hope is not gone for birthing a baby. It's in HP's will & not mine!

Well I'm off to watch Chris Rock movies and do laundry. Peace!

~F

Irritation!

Today is one of those. I just can't even get into it. Started reading Atonement last night & like it so far. Had yummy pasta and celebrated a friends sobriety birthday last night. My cat may have a problem with his butt as we found shit smears on the hallway floor this morning. Went to 2 meetings today. Wish people wouldn't give me advice when they hardly know what they're doing. Just want to hibernate in our bed & play "does this tickle" with my spouse to be.

That's all I got today.
Peace!
~F

*Sigh*

It's rainy here is Stumptown and it's left me needing some vitamin D. I'm not blue exactly. No just a wee bit listless and without much to really blog about today. I guess that's one of the downsides of blogging everyday. Even though I have a myriad of things to yap on about I'm just not in mood for it today. So instead I wanted to show y'all some favorite photos from my favorite free share website unprofound. Hope you enjoyed them!

Date Night

My sweetheart & I were in need of a date. To my surprise we spontaneously had one last night & boy was it great! After looking at the movie section of the ol' Willamette Week I saw that there was a horror comedy double feature at the Clinton Street Theater and called my beloved to see if she wanted to go. She said yes and we made plans for dinner before the movies.

The plans for dinner fell through though in a the best way. We were going to go to the grocery store and make hot dog roll ups but instead decided to use a coupon we got in our mailbox for the queer owned restaurant Wild Abandon. We went in time for their happy hour so we got our meals for even cheaper, but let me say there was nothing cheap about our food. My love had a burger because she is a burger connoisseur. It was very good and though it didn't come with french fries as she's accustomed it came with a most delicious side of au gratin potatoes. I had the baked ziti.

For some odd reason I thought it would have tomato sauce as I usually prefer that to cream sauces. It had a creamy 3 cheese sauce and despite my usual distaste for such creamy madness this dish was amazing! I mean I still can't get over it. Their ziti was hands down the best meal I've had this year! It had tender scallops with the noodles and buttery bread crumbs on top. I think you can look at a pic of the dish here. I couldn't stop raving or eating the dish despite my ever increasingly full stomach. And when the noodles, scallops & bread crumbs were gone I grabbed a spoon and tried to scrape every last bit of the cream sauce out of the bowl. Truly this was a dish to write home about and for the rock bottom, happy hour price of $8 bucks. Cannot wait to have it again!

After our fabulous meal we were off to the Clinton Street Theater for a double feature of the films Murder Party and Blood Car. Both movies were fun but Murder Party was our favorite. Blood Car had a few good laughs and had a definite political message about U.S. Americans addiction to fuel. There was a scene where the protagonist was a vegan yet eating meat ribs that was a hoot. And the very last scene was frighteningly funny. Murder Party won me over because it was really funny throughout and had some serious scares. So many of the characters were ridiculous and yet very real. And the movie did a great job of making fun of avant garde art scene which as someone who has been in the art world, was happy to see that others got how phony some of the folks can be. If you're into comedy and horror I highly recommend both films but if you could only afford one, go with Murder Party.

After the films we walked home in the fog before Midnight. It was a dreamy kind of feel hearing the trees abandoned leaves rustle beneath our feet and not being able to see further than a block away. It was one of those evenings where I was not only grateful to not be by myself, but more than that, I was grateful for the wonderful person on such an adventure with me. It makes life that much sweeter!

Peace!
~F

Sydney Melts the Heart

This little tea cup chihuahua is the apple of my eye many times a day. She's got the most gentle doggie soul except for her jealousy. She really puts the lousy in jealousy. Oh and she pees on the floor fairly often because the tiny 12 year old bladder doesn't function so great & though I take her out every 1-2 hours, I still wind up spot treating piss with Bac-Out the worlds most awesome cleaning solution. Anyway beyond her little messes and vicious snarling at her sister Lucy sometimes, Syd is a peach.

One of the things that makes her so special is her adventurous attitude and willingness to go anywhere at any time. Another thing that's great is her ability to be venerable and cuddle super close to the face. She'll lay right in my neck and it's so friggin sweet! Well that's all from me today.

Peace y'all!
~F

They're No Friends of Mine. Why a Vote for Obama, Clinton or Edwards is a Vote for Inequality

Please note: It's about to get all opinionated up in this blog and for good reason. I'm known for "saying it like it is" and today is no exception.

If you support any of the current popular democratic candidates for president then you are against the founding principals of this country and against human rights for all U.S. American citizens. That's right! Am I being black and white on this? You bet! Why am I saying all this? Because of one extremely important reason:

Marriage Equality

This isn't about same sex marriage. This isn't about gays being able to get married. The truth is not everyone in a same sex relationship is gay. Not everyone who is gay falls in love with someone of the same sex either. Love happens regardless of sex or gender identification. As I always say the size and shape of one's genitals are never the main reason someone wants to marry or start a family with another. And not all gays want to get married per se either. But I don't know of one queer person who doesn't want 100% equal rights.

Sure these candidates show some support towards l/g/b/t/2s folks. Hillary Clinton believes the Don't Ask Don't Tell policy is a matter of national security and wants to fix it. She supports equal benefit legislation and anti-hate crime legislation. She even has gay friends! She proved that when she addressed the HRC. Barack Obama opposes a constitution ban on "gay" marriage. Thinks homosexuals (god could his language be more annoying?) should have the same adoption rights and is concerned about AIDS worldwide. John Edwards would support a federal law protecting all people from job discrimination. He also believes in equal immigration rights. One interesting thing to note about Edwards is his willingness to discuss his internal conflict about marriage equality. I like his honesty & willingness to explore his heart about it. It should also be noted his wife Elizabeth Edwards disagrees with him and supports marriage rights for all.

Yet not one of these candidates support marriage equality. They all support civil unions. But here's the gipper, marriage and civil unions are not the same. And even though all the democratic candidates support federal benefits for same sex couples, access to survivor benefits and equal taxes for same sex couples, only Dennis Kucinich and Mike Gravel support full equality for all. Here's a great fact sheet about about where each democratic candidate stands on all these issues.

Here's the deal: our constitution guarantees equality for all. Not just a majority or minority. It doesn't say "everyone is equal but those who want to get married to someone of the same sex." No it says The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States. And here's the 14th Amendment if you are unclear what Article Four, Section Two said: All persons born or naturalized in the United States and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

Now let's just for a moment go back in history and consider this example. Now I know some folks hate it when racial minority civil rights get compared to current l/g/b/t/2s rights but I think this example is appropriate. Lets just say that in 1964 when the Civil Rights Act of 1964 was signed it also said "citizen racial minorities will have all equal privileges or immunities except in marriage where they shall have civil unions instead." Do you think for one minute that would be okay? Sure a few would say "well that's fair because they're still 2nd class citizens to me." But there would be quite a fight for full equality as civil unions would be considered not full rights and therefore unacceptable & unconstitutional. Even if the law was "racial minorities can marry each other but only have civil unions to Caucasians" that kind of law would still be considered less than separate but equal.

But wait some say. The bible says...... Well folks lets not forget separation of church and state. Umm no that phrase is not actually in the constitution but the 1st Amendment says: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof. This means that everyone is free to believe what they want and carry out those beliefs within their own religion. It does not mean one's religion gets to determine federal and state law. It does not mean one's religion trumps any citizens basic rights. Also remember folks, the bible was used to justify slavery back in the day.

In conclusion we must acknowledge that if we wish to call ourselves true Americans we must also vote in the ways our constitution. We must support presidential candidates who honor the American value of equality and therefore honor not only the original constitution but also the 1st and 14th Amendments. These are our laws. They are not in anyway an out for one group to have more rights and privileges than another. Obama, Clinton and Edwards are not only not patriots because of their stance on marriage equality, they are also not worthy of our support when they don't support equality for all American citizens. It's as simple as that.

Peace!
~F

Recipe 4 U! Warning it's MEAT!

A break from my wordy meanderings today. A recipe for Pot Roast that I concocted on my own with just a wee bit of help from my mama & the Sober Kitchen Cookbook. But I pretty much winged it & it turned out to be one of the best pot roasts I've ever tasted. Now for all you vegetarians I'll post a recipe soon for delicious cottage cheese patties and one later for a vegan curry dish. I'm starting with the meat first because I can.

Fran's Frantastic Pot Roast

Chuck roast. About 4 pounds
1 1/2 cup coarsely chopped onion
2 tbsp butter
6-8 cloves of garlic minced
Celery salt
Sea salt
Freshly ground black pepper
Dried parsley -to taste
Dried Thyme -to taste
Pinch of dried Rosemary
1 or 2 bay leaves
2 tbsp flour
6-8 very coarsely chopped carrots
2-3 lbs red baby potatoes
water

Heat oven to 500 degrees. Put butter in roasting pan once oven is fully heated. Brown butter in pan and put the beef (I always rinse my meat before cooking) in the pan & put that in the oven. Sear the beef in the oven for 15 min. on one side and 10 min. on the other side of meat. Then turn the oven down to 325 degrees and add water until you have a 1/2 inch of water in pan. Also add 1 cup of the onion but not all. Let this all cook for 20 min, then baste roast and continue to baste every 15 to 20 minutes. After the roast has been in the oven for 40 min. or so add garlic, bay leaf, and rosemary to roast and juices. After 2 hours of cooking add thyme, black pepper & celery salt. After another half hour add sea salt and if you like more pepper. This would also be a good time to add 1/4th to 1/2 cup water.

I recommend cooking the roast for about 3 1/2 hours. In the last hour add the sea salt & more pepper if you like. In the last 40 min. add potatoes and the rest of the onion and put the lid on the roasting pan. 20 min. later add carrots and parsley.

After 3 1/2 hours remove meat & veggies to a baking dish and put in oven while the roasting pan will go on the stove top where you'll make the gravy.

Put the roasting juices in a glass measuring cup straining it through with a small mesh strainer on top. Put the garlic/onion/spice mush into the roasting pan. Next try to take off as much fat off the top of the juices in the glass measuring cup as possible without wasting the juices. Add 1/3 cup water to the roasting pan & turn the burner on the med-low. Cook the mush and water in the roasting pan constantly stirring until hot. Turn heat up to medium & slowly add the roast juices until fully blended. Then slowly add flour and any additional spices you want.

Then you'll have the honor of serving a Franastic Pot Roast!

Grumpy Franny

No real idea why I'm a bit moody today. Maybe I'm sensitive to the time change. Maybe I don't want to have to go to work today when my beloved just got back from Idaho. Maybe it's no reason at all. Anyway I was walking to work and thinking about topics to rant about today. Like a list of things I hate or something. But really how productive to my own psyche is that, or my wonderful readers. So instead I took a pic with my camera phone of the Willamette River and decided to list 20 things I love (I'll save the list of things I hate for a day I'm really grumpy!). Here goes...

1. When I cook something for the first time and it turns out really well.


2. Snuggling with people & animals I love


3. Reading a riveting book


4. Watching a riveting film


5. Music that feeds my soul


6. Walking on a sunny fall day


7. Making love with someone who's really good at it


8. Carrying out plans that empower me


9. Feeling inspired


10. My mama


11. My beloved


12. Friendly strangers


13. Traveling and finding cool treasures to wear that remind me of the place I'd been


14. Getting the house clean & then spending the rest of the day enjoying it


15. Smelling lovely smelling flowers


16. My fingernails painted


17. Creme brulee


18. Reaching out to others


19. Quiet


20. Dancing

Peace y'all! ~F

Free to Pee

I was reading the latest copy of JustOut, Portland's only queer rag. There was an article about bathroom safety for transgendered folks that I feel is important to think about. In the piece a person was asked to leave the women's restroom and when an attempt was made to use the men's in a different store this person was told s/he was in the wrong room. Though I have not personally experienced this kind of harassment I've had plenty of lovers who have. No they were not trans per se, but each woman who expressed her gender towards the masculine had a bathroom story to tell me. And there was always pain in those stories.

It's easy to take some things for granted. Just like a number of whites (not all mind you) don't understand their own set of privileges based on their skin tone, people who don't express their gender according to what general society considers correct (ie. you're born with a cock so don't wear skirts, you're born looking female but better not dislike wearings skirts) have to struggle with oppression in the forms of harassment, threats and even violence. And often the most commonly shared experience of this kind of prejudice is in the bathroom.

Junior high was a terribly awkward time for me & most folks. I remember my own prejudice then against those who didn't conform to "proper" gender expression. I was afraid the girl who never expressed herself in an feminine way would be unsafe to be around in the bathroom. In fact then I thought out loud to friends that I thought gays & lesbians should have separate bathrooms, because what if they hit on me in there. Gosh I'm glad I'm not 13 anymore! But these kind of juvenile attitudes persist in many adults in our communities. The assumptions that trans folks or genderqueer folks are a threat while we go to the bathroom is silly at best. Not a whole lot of folks get excited from hearing someone else pee. And those that do are often the last folks we'd ever think (like a senator or something).

Being kicked out of a bathroom at any time would be embarrassing at best. Then imagine having this happen when you've got to use the toilet. Everyone has the right to take a piss or a doo doo. Why should we say we're a free country when someone is perceived to be the wrong gender and forced to not be able to relieve themselves?

Now I don't know what the best ways of talking to someone who is perceived to be the wrong gender for a gender segregated bathroom about one's personal comfort level. I don't think someone needs to ignore their own comfort and instincts. But I know there are ways to make ourselves feel safe while not harassing or making a drama out of that which we don't yet understand. I'm going to explore ways allies can talk to others about this topic and also ways to support our transgender and genderqueer citizens to help protect their safety as well.

In the meantime here are two great links:
Peeing in Peace is a great resource for transgender folks and their allies. It was produced by the Transgender Law Center in California and has not only some wonderful advice and resources but also a history of bathroom activism and how to deal with harassment. This in in a pdf.

Also a wonderful resource for gender free restrooms is safe2pee.org. You can look up your location (the site lists all the states and some other countries besides USA) and see where the gender free restrooms are. Among some of the places in Portland are Powell's Books on Hawthorne, the downtown YWCA, the Doug Fir, and the Roxy. Check more PDX locations here.

Well hope you all are having a lovely fall weekend!
~F

Money can be Spiritual?!

In keeping with my goals for NabloPoMo I'm going to post a bit today on the journey I'm taking these days around money. That's right kids, the almighty dollah. But first I'd like to present a link. It's called 10 Questions and is sponsored by The New York Times & MSNBC. Folks post questions to the presidential candidates via video. Viewers then vote on what they feel are the most important questions they want answered. The top 10 questions are then posed to the candidates. So if you have a way to tape yerself & wanna know what they'll do with our health care, why they do or don't support marriage equality, what their policy is on free trade or anything else check out 10 Questions and get to it!

So as I've noted on a few other posts here at QWOC I'm trying to get a little a lot more responsible about my money management. And being that I'm attracted to the greater depth in things (as in always looking for the symbolism, God/dess and such) I realized lately that this also has to apply to my finances.

In recovery the first step is to admit our lives are unmanageable. Then we turn our unmanageable live to to the care of a Higher Power that can restore us to sanity & thus manage our lives. From that we are able to do HP's works great and small to better ourselves & the world around us. I've been able to do that over and over again with many things in my life including alcohol, co-dependence, my family & friends and so on. But not with money. I've been trying to take care of my money on my own quite unsuccessfully.

Rent checks have bounced. Money has been borrowed. I've probably given thousands to banks in overdraft fees. Tried payday advances (which I recommend NEVER doing) and have demeaned myself in a variety of ways which I shan't discuss here. The point is that my way of doing things has sucked to put it mildly & it's high time to change. Not just for my own sake but for the ones I'm close to & my future family.

But can dealing with my money stuff actually help to change the world? I'm learning the answer is yes.

I taped an episode of the Oprah show this week because Suze Orman was on it. She is a popular finance expert & I wanted to see what she had to say. Her words were powerful! She really brought home the idea of the link between how we are financially & it's impact on our emotional and spiritual lives. That when we are in our power, we don't waste time in shame. We don't lie about where we're at and therefore repel people. And it's my experience that this concept is so true. When I feel ashamed of any part of myself I'm not in my truth and therefore not in my power. When I'm not able to let the light of truth and joy shine through me I can't seem attract the people and things I may want/need into my life. Recovery has taught me to be honest about the good & yucky parts of myself. Doing this around money makes sense.

Fear is a common theme here too. Reflecting on the far away & recent past I can see that my lack of attention to my finances has had to do with more than laziness. It's also been fear. A fear of being bored. And what's funny about that is I tend to consider myself a person who is rarely bored. My mom often said "you're only as bored as you make yourself." And I've always thought that statement was true. So why the heck has my attitude around paper work and finances been so crappy? I don't have an exact answer but know that now is the time to change those beliefs.


What makes the world a better place is love. When we love one another and ourselves we empower each other and ourselves. By facing the truth, by getting comfortable with doubt, by making fear a friend that provides guideposts on our next actions rather than something we run from we can generate more love. There is no better place to apply such principals than with our money.


So many are in a world of hurt around money. We get headaches, stomach aches, have stress and other physical & emotional symptoms from our money woes that it's not surprising folks can be so darn cruel to others. It's no wonder folks can have such feelings of failure about themselves too. And these ways of being get passed down to our kids where the cycle repeats. So folks I'm stopping the cycle. I'm letting love in. I'm telling the truth & getting power from HP to take care of my life, future family & heart by focusing on finances. And now is the best time to get down to business!

Peace!
~F

NaBloPoMo Day 1. Quotes from Reparations Day

Well I hate to admit this but I really have nothing to write in particular today. Not the worlds best way to begin 30 days of blogging. So today I give you quotes from Reparations Day. These are some of the things that were said to me ask I panhandled for reparations. Usually I'd say "Reparations! I can take your reparations payment here" This is what my beloved recorded from the passers-by. Enjoy!

• How are those restitutions?
• Congratulations!
• What a bitch!
• You're a bitch & you're going to get smacked (note: she was white walking with a Black woman)
• I don't know nothing
• What is it? Oh I'll think about it.
• Good for you
• Good luck!
• It's the most positive thing I've seen since I came back to Portland from the military
• I'm a desendent of slavery too
• I'm Romanian and think they should do this over there in Europe
• We don't need reparations because there's the Joint House Resolution!

The best thing I heard though was from my mother. After I told her the story was on the front page of the Metro section of the Oregonian and that my pic was on the front page of the afternoon edition of the paper she said "I knew it! I was always afraid you'd end up in the paper for panhandling!"

Goodness bless moms!

Hey check out some cool new blogs by clicking on the NaBloPoMo randomizer below. Have fun!
http://nablopomo.ning.com/random.html

Peace!
~F